World's Worst Jobs? (31 October 2003)

• Starting NEXT WEEK, the mummified body of former Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin is getting its first change of clothes in 60 years. A team of Russian scientists will outfit the mummy in a new set of civilian duds, the 3rd change of clothes for Lenin's body, which was first dressed in a military uniform after he died in 1924, then put in a suit just before WWII.
• A group of more than 30 Iowa state employees have been hired as ‘Nasal Rangers' due to their outstanding sense of smell. The job – to determine when complaints about offensive odours are valid. For instance, the stink from stockyards. Their findings will be part of a 2-year study to determine if the state needs new standards for air quality.

Goofy New Gizmos: (31 October 2003)

• Ira Goldman of Washington DC has invented the ‘Knee Defender', a block of plastic the size of a deck of cards that wedges into the back of an airline seat to prevent it from reclining – thereby protecting the long-legged airline passenger sitting behind. Goldman is now selling it online. He had a vested interest in creating the gizmo – he's 6-foot-4!
  For more info check out the Knee Defender website.
• Houston TX sisters Vivian Lipman & Joyce Nimetz have invented a device called ‘My Sweet Pee' which allows women to – urinate while standing. The water-resistant paper gizmos can be easily stored in a purse, then curved into a funnel shape when needed. Why bother? You'll never, ever have to make contact with a yucky, icky, gross public toilet again!

Buzzwords (29 October 2003)

New terms leaking into the lingo –

• ‘The New Old' – The Baby Boom generation as it moves into retirement. The banking, brokerage and insurance industries are already adjusting to service retirees who will live longer and therefore have to finance almost a third of their lives after retirement.
• ‘Keyboard Dyslexia' – Typing all the correct letters, but in the wrong sequence. Occurs most often when dashing off an e-mail response.
• ‘Meeting Prep' – The pre-meeting ritual of going to the washroom and getting a cup of coffee.

When We Stray (29 October 2003)

According to a recent survey of close to 3,500 married people, a woman is most likely to cheat during the first 5 years of marriage, then the likelihood tapers off gradually with time. Men, on the other hand, are most likely to cheat during 2 periods of their lives – during the first 5 years of marriage and again, after the 20th year.

Bad Reception? (29 October 2003)

A new Duke University study has found that prayer appears to have NO effect on patients undergoing heart surgery. Researchers followed the progress of 750 patients, half of whom were prayed for by a team of Christians, Jews, Buddhists and Muslims. Those who were prayed for fared no better than those who were not.

For The Record (29 October 2003)

The "Guinness World Record" for ‘largest piece of chocolate' has been shattered in Perugia, Italy during the town's 10th annual "Euro chocolate Fair". A gigantic chocolate has been unveiled that towers over 2-meters-high (6-and-a-half feet), weighs 6 metric tonnes (6.6 tons), and took over 1,000 hours to create.
No new yet about the flavour or filling...

Too Stupid To Make Up (29 October 2003)

• An Egypt Air pilot delayed his plane's take-off for 3 hours because he claimed one of the passengers was – too fat. He wasn't worried about getting aloft, just that the woman might have emergency medical problems during the flight to Dubai.
• Kil-Kare Speedway in Xenia OH has added an odd attraction to its program – ‘School Bus Racing'. Yup, actual big ol' yellow buses racing on a 3/4-mile, figure-8 track. If that's not wild enough, the 15-lap race is followed by a ‘School Bus Demolition Derby', an event that broke out by accident at an early bus race.
• Cops needed tear gas to disperse a riot at the Kinyui Boys School in Kenya. A mob of hundreds of teens set fire to the school, ransacked the kitchens and looted computers during a 3-hour rampage. Why? The teachers have banned disco nights.
• A police station near Strasbourg, France is stuck with a room full of homeless – garden gnomes. Some 75 of them were recovered 2 years ago after a group called the ‘Garden Gnome Liberation Front' set them free on the steps of a local cathedral. THIS WEEK'S special ‘Gnome Return Day' attracted only a trickle of owners, so the cops are forced to continue babysitting the little folk. They may be sold in a future police auction.

No Quickies Allowed (28 October 2003)

British hotel chain Travelodge is now renting out its rooms by the half-hour. No, it's not what you think. The $8 deal is aimed at tired drivers who need a nap, and includes a cup of coffee before they go back to their vehicles. ‘Catnap & Coffee' customers are prevented from over-sleeping by a wake-up call at the end of their 30 minutes. Oh yeah ... to avoid any hanky panky, the deal is restricted to one person per room.
[I've checked the Travelodge website and can't find any confirmation yet..]

Holy Face Cream (28 October 2003)

Hollywood Celebs, who seem to blow bucks on every fad product that comes along, are now snapping up Body Bistro Green Apple & Neem Eye Jelly, which purportedly fights puffiness around the eyes. The potion contains apple extract, ginkgo and turmeric root, and most important of all – each jar has been individually blessed by Tibetan monks! Halle Berry and Bruce Willis are said to be among the stars forking out $42 a pop for the gunk.

Scientists Say (23 October 2003)

A compendium of recent ‘discoveries' –

• Scientists say ... that sheep express fear by changing their voices. ‘Bioacoustics' expert Mark Feinstein of Hampshire College in Amherst MA recorded sheep in Ireland and claims that stressed sheep alter the timbre of their vocalizations.
• Scientists say ... the mysterious disappearance of ships in the world's oceans may be due to gigantic methane bubbles from the sea floor. Researchers at Australia's Monash University claim they've successfully demonstrated how a giant bubble could swamp a ship.

It's A Wacky World (23 October 2003)

• A company in Warwickshire, England that ordered out for a stripper to entertain its execs is complaining about false advertising. The dancer that showed up weighed 280 lbs and cheerfully told them, "You'll have to make do with me because all the other girls are dropping their kids off at school."
• 33-year-old Norwegian entrepreneur Lena Skarning has secured a $7,500 business start-up grant from the government. The ‘business'? ‘Forest Witch Magic Consulting'. Yep, she's just become Norway's only state-backed witch ... but had to promise not to use any harmful spells.
• 40-year-old Kirk Jones, the dopey daredevil who went over Niagara Falls MONDAY and lived, is reportedly planning to sell a videotape of the stunt. But before the unemployed shipping clerk from Canton MI can cash in, he'll likely have to pony up a $7,500 fine. A 7-year-old boy wearing just a life jacket is the only other person to survive a header over the Canadian falls without special equipment.
• For a scientific study on sexual problems, volunteers in the Netherlands agreed to have sex while researchers scanned their brains. Participants had to keep their heads perfectly still while engaged in the act and were required to finish in 7 minutes.

Has The Doc Got Your Tongue? (22 October 2003)

A surgical operation called a ‘frenotomy' has become the must-have item for well-heeled South Korean kids, some as young as a year-old. It's a procedure that involves a cm-long snip of the frenulum, the strap of tissue linking the tongue to the floor of the mouth. Why? Koreans are genetically inclined to have a short frenulum, making it difficult to become a fluent English speaker. And that's considered a requirement in the international business world. The 5-minute operation costs 150,000 won, about $125. Even after the surgery, it takes months of language training to speak accent-free English.

It's Not Fair (22 October 2003)

According to a University of Florida study, tall people have better incomes than short people. Researchers found that each inch of height adds an average $783-a-year to a person's pay. The study concludes that height matters more than gender in determining income. Tall people also seem to do better than short people on job evaluations, even when they're supposed to be based on quantifiable figures, such as sales performance.

Tapping Into Power (21 October 2003)

University of Alberta researchers have discovered how to make electricity from tap water by squirting it through microscopic channels. The technique offers a source of non-polluting power that could be used for small electronic devices such as calculators and mobile phones, as well as in large power stations that house millions of the tiny channels.

Strip Off Those Pounds (21 October 2003)

Sometime actress-model-dancer-media personality Carmen Electra is releasing a 5-part DVD series called "Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease" that gives lessons on how to perform calorie-burning stripper moves like pole dancing & lap dancing. Carmen claims exotic dancers have great bodies because their occupation involves a good workout every night. She also says learning to strip boosts self-confidence, and makes you feel sexy.

No Spoonful Of Sugar Needed (21 October 2003)

American scientists have developed a new way to take medicine - a microchip implanted in the body that releases medication slowly so the patient no longer has to take any pills. The 1-cm-long microchip delivers exactly the right dosage at exactly the right time, thereby avoiding patient error. Tests show that a single chip can be used for up to 140 days. Clinical trials of the new implant are expected to begin soon.

Mobile Mad (20 October 2003)

Norway now has over 4 million registered mobile phone users - in a country with a total population of 4.5 million! This is equivalent to every Norwegian over the age of 10 having a mobile phone account.

Amazing Fact (20 October 2003)

More car accidents happen on FRIDAY than any other day, according to a new study by Progressive Insurance. The worst time? Most of them happen between 4 and 7 pm. The study also finds that the safest time to drive is THURSDAY morning ... at 4 am.

Do you understand weather forecasts? (20 October 2003)

Why is it people think weather forecasts are always wrong? Why do they hear broadcasters do the weather and immediately think "They're just making it up!"? There are several reasons -

1. Most people are not familiar with weather terms and make blanket assumptions from forecasts. This includes broadcasters, who tend to re-word forecasts and make generalizations that simply are not correct.
2. It's not an exact science - forecasts are constantly in a state of flux and become more accurate the closer they are to the forecast period. In fact, NO ONE can predict day-to-day weather changes for more than a week into the future.

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon... (updated) (15 October 2003)

I stand corrected, "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" is based on a game, which is related to the film. You can find out the background at msnbc.com or use the on-line version: The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia.

Too strange to make up (14 October 2003)

A small single-engine plane has crashed near a wedding party in central Serbia, apparently brought down by - celebratory rounds fired off by wedding guests with guns. The pilot and passenger survived but were seriously injured.

Couch potato poll (14 October 2003)

Highlights of a new survey on television viewing habits by DirecTV -

• 52% leave the room as soon as ads come on.
• 37% say they couldn't manage more than 2 days without watching TV.
• 36% turn on the TV within 15 minutes of getting home.
• 7% watch TV for 11 hours at a time.
• 1% like to watch TV naked.

Do you want a new job? (14 October 2003)

A new occupation called 'benriya' or 'convenience doer' has become popular in Japan. it's someone who does all the stuff for you that you don't want to do yourself - taking out garbage, removing household pests, basically whatever the client wants and is willing to pay for.
Some benriya have even been hired to appear in shorthanded wedding parties. It's estimated there are about 5,000 benriya in Japan and business is booming, perhaps because people are no longer comfortable asking friends, relatives or neighbours to help them solve problems.

The "Drinkometer" (14 October 2003)

Ever wonder how much you've drunk in your lifetime? Let the online " Drinkometer" work it out.
36-years-old, 87,360 total beers, $419,328 spent and there goes your 2-and-a-half Ferraris. You are rated 'Ozzy Osbourne'.

The Star Wars Kid (9 October 2003)

If you haven't heard of this .... well I'm not surprised. A kid, Ghyslain, taped himself performing some Star Wars Jedi moves and some "friends" at school decided to upload it onto the internet. Check out the video at JediMaster.net. It has the original tape plus different version, including a version with sound effects added and Ghyslain fighting his Doppelganger.

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon... (9 October 2003)

Well this is bizarre. I've heard that everyone is supposed to have six degrees of separation from each other, all based on the reference to Kevin Bacon in the film "Six Degrees of Separation". So here's a site that proves it.

The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia.

Marketing with mozart (8 October 2003)

For a new study on the effect of ambient music on dining, researchers persuaded a restaurant to change the background (pop music, classical music, silence, etc) on successive nights over an 18-day period. On nights when the classics were playing - a recording of Beethoven, Mahler and Vivaldi - patrons spent more on dinner, especially on fancy coffees, pricey fine wines and luxurious desserts. Why? Psychologist Adrian North says it makes you feel more cultured and sophisticated.

Scary new driving study (8 October 2003)

Highlights (or may be lowlights) from a new National Safe Kids Campaign study that monitored over 25,000 vehicles at close to 300 intersections with stop signs -

• 37% of vehicles rolled slowly through stop signs.
• 25% stopped for stop signs, but not until the vehicle was in the crosswalk or intersection.
• 7% of vehicles didn't stop for stops signs at all.
• Only 29% stopped before the crosswalk or intersection as they were supposed to.

Is life passing you by? (7 October 2003)

Ever wonder how much of your life you're spending stuck in traffic jams? A recent study shows the average annual traffic delay per driver based on urban population:

• In cities over 3 million = an average of 54 hours per year per driver is spent grid locked.
• In population centres of 1-3 million = 40 hours per year.
• Urban centres of 500,000-1 million = 31 hours.
• Under 500,000 = 10 hours.

How to shortcut a call centre (7 October 2003)

When phoning a company's call centre, there are several ways to cut through the recorded menus and get an actual real human on the line. Among them - . Zero Out - Instead of wading through menu choices, immediately dial '0' (or sometimes '9','#' or '*') to get directly to an operator.

• Pretend You're on a Rotary Phone & Wait for the Operator - Simply waiting may actually save you time in the long run as opposed to getting caught up in multiple levels of menus.
• Avoid Peak Call Times - 10:30 am to 2:30 pm is the worst time to call any call centre.
• Pick the 'Sales' Option - Even if you're not looking to buy anything, money-generating sales calls almost always get answered first.
• Call the Company's Local Number - Forget the toll-free number and call the company on its local phone number. You may pay for long distance, but local calls are often answered more quickly.

Nobel and IG Nobel (6 October 2003)

Throughout THIS WEEK the winners of the "2003 Nobel Prizes" will be announced by Sweden's Nobel Foundation. The prestigious prizes, established in the 1896 will of Swedish industrialist Alfred Nobel, are now worth over a million dollars each. The high-profile Nobel Peace Prize will be announced FRIDAY. The Nobel Prize parody "13th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Awards" have already been announced by Harvard U's science humour magazine, "The Annals of Improbable Research". They honour people whose achievements 'cannot or should not be reproduced', usually far-fetched 'scientific studies' that somehow received funding. This year's winners include -

• A University College of London team who showed the brains of London taxi drivers were different from average people because they become enlarged in the zone associated with navigation.
• A Japanese researcher is honoured for chemistry for his study of a bronze statue that failed to attract pigeons.
• Kees Moeliker of the Netherlands won the biology prize for being the first scientist to record homosexual necrophilia ... in the mallard duck.
• An Australian team won the physics award for their report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep Over Various Surfaces".

Attention Men! (6 October 2003)

If you want to improve your sex life, you might want to pick up the vacuum and start cleaning. That's because women are more likely to 'get in the mood' when men help out with chores, according to a new University of Washington study.

That's the way the cookie crumbles (6 October 2003)

It's widely assumed that packaged cookies break apart because they're mishandled before reaching the buyer. But the problem is due to baking techniques and moisture, according to British researchers. The scientists used a laser beam to monitor the fault lines of cookies coming out of an oven.

You Need Standing Room (6 October 2003)

Thanks to automation, computers and commutes, the majority of us spend some 6 months out of every year - on our butts! Experts say all that sitting increases the pressure on discs by a whopping 300%. The solution? Stand up every 30 minutes to reset the back and normalize discs.

The 5 Second Rule (6 October 2003)

You've no doubt heard this - if food falls on the floor but is picked up within 5 seconds, its safe to eat? A new University of Illinois survey finds that 70% of women and 56% of men have heard of the so-called '5-Second Rule' and many use it. Perhaps surprisingly, the poll also finds that women are more likely to eat something that's hit the floor. Not surprisingly, goodies like cookies and candy are more likely to be picked up and eaten than veggies. (Exceptions to the 5-Second Rule - soup ... gravy ... broccoli.)

Misused words and phrases (3 October 2003)

"What common catch-words or phrases have been twisted into misuse (often in advertising)?" Here's a few primers to get you going -

• 'Savings' ... even when you purchase an item at a bargain price you're not SAVING anything, just spending less. The only time you SAVE money is when you don't buy at all.
• 'New & Improved' ... it doesn't matter what it is, it can't possibly be BOTH.
• 'Hotel Guest' ... you're not a 'guest' at all, you're PAYING to stay there.
• 'Associates' ... big companies have taken to calling workers this in order to foster the feeling that 'we're all in this together'. You're not a 'sales associate' ... you're an employee!
• 'Safe Haven' ... the word 'haven' itself means 'safe shelter', so it needs no qualifier.
• 'Near Miss' ... a prevented airplane crash is actually a 'near HIT', or maybe a 'TOTAL miss'.

The Swiss Army Plate (2 October 2003)

Swiss inventors have developed a special plate for eating spaghetti without making a mess. It has a 'crater' in the middle, a little like an egg cup, which is used to wind the spaghetti around a fork. Inventors Mehdi Derouazi and Frank Martin from Geneva came up with the idea while studying at the Lausanne College for Hotel Management & Catering.

Carbon Copy (2 October 2003)

Roy Littlejohns of Northampton, England has just wed girlfriend Michelle Jones in Las Vegas after the two dated for 8 years. So what? His previous wife (1980-95) was her twin sister, Madelaine! He says the identical twins aren't that much different except his new wife is more worldly and he has more in common with her.

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