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Time now for some Useless July Information?
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Back to August 2004 News
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International Noos
(30 July)
- Cops in Durban, South Africa are on the lookout for a big gang - literally. A gang of plus-sized women has been invading stores and intimidating employees with knives, then stealing clothes and perfume. "They're quite large people," a police inspector confirms.
- A Czech man opened the boot (trunk) of his Renault sedan for the first time in a year and wished he hadn't. Inside, he found a man's decomposing body. The motorist told police in Brno that he had absolutely no idea how the corpse got there.
- At a bar for the broken-hearted in Nanjing, China, drinkers pay to cry in their beer. Sad music is played, tissues provided, and customers are even offered raw onions to help them burst into tears.
- A German woman became so furious at her husband that she stormed out of the house armed with a hammer and smashed up his car. Only problem was - she attacked the wrong car. Now, the red-faced 43-year-old frau from Essen faces a $1,200 repair bill from an irate neighbour.
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Scientists Say
(29 July)
A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...
- Scientists say ... women are 8 times more likely to suffer sports injuries than men. The National Institutes of Health reports that stress fractures, and knee & ankle injuries are among the most common.
- Scientists say ... blind people really do hear better. A new McGill University study finds that the unsighted hear musical notes more precisely - but only if they were blind at birth or became blind at an early age.
- Scientists say ... broccoli is good for your eyesight. Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have found that the commonly hated veg protects the eye from damage caused by UV light.
- Scientists say ... powdered potatoes stop bleeding. A starchy new product called TraumaDex, made from the common potato, works like a sponge to instantly stop wounds from bleeding and reduce the need for blood transfusions later on.
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Tough Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It!
(29 July)
In order to qualify for a Canadian work visa, foreign strippers must now supply immigration officials with photos of themselves - naked photos. It's purportedly to prevent impostors from securing official paperwork. Applicants must prove they can dance in the nude by supplying stage photos during performances. That means immigration officers are now required to pore over nude pics of hundreds of exotic dancers. If a dancer passes the no-clothes test, they may then require a 'medical examination'.
- "Toronto Sun"
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Son Of 'Mood Ring'
(29 July)
Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a vehicle they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink or just look around. The inventors explain in the patent that they want drivers to have more than a one-note horn and on-off headlights to signal other drivers. They envision a vehicle with adjustable body height, headlights that vary in colour & intensity, an antenna that wags, and hood ornaments designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears, all of which could glow with coloured lights to create 'moods' and physical features. For instance, to show 'anger', the hood lighting glows red and the 'eyebrow' lights up. The inventors claim the features will make driving more entertaining.
- "International Herald Tribune"
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New English 101
(28 July)
- 'Life Caching' - Collecting, storing & displaying one's life online for friends & family using blogs, Webcams, camera phones, etc. (Sort of a digital version of 'scrap booking'.)
- 'Zoomburb' - An ultra-fast-growing urban area in the suburbs. Some 'zoomburbs' are becoming as big as the cities they spun off of.
- 'Hoteling' - An office setup in which mobile workers do not have permanent desks or cubicles and so must reserve a workspace when they come into the office. ("My back's killing me from lugging around these files. I'm hoteling in 3 cities.")
- 'Emo Boy' - A new breed of sensitive straight guy who may look masculine but is vulnerable, emotional, subject to mood swings and talks about his feelings ... too much. (Presumably the name comes from wimpy stand-up comedian Emo Philips.)
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If Your Writing Is Crappy ...
(28 July)
A company in Sri Lanka specializes in making stationery from - elephant dung. Maximus manufactures elephant dung writing paper, envelopes & cards and also helps preserve the country's dwindling elephant population because its supply of dung is purchased from an orphanage which houses 62 of the beasts. The reserve produces about 6 truckloads of dung daily so there's no problem with supply. And here's the real magic with elephant dung stationery - each, er, 'sheet' has its own unique colour and texture, depending on the diet, age and dental health of the elephant that produced it.
- "Daily News"
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My What Big Buds You Have
(28 July)
Are you a 'supertaster'? According to a Yale University study, about 25% of us have acute sense of taste due to a high number of taste buds. Supersensitive taste influences what people eat. Researchers have found that supertasters tend to avoid strong-flavoured foods and also tend to be slimmer because they don't crave fats or sugars. The downside - supertasters may not eat enough bitter vegetables, believed to protect against cancer.
- "Smithsonian" magazine.
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Eau Da Schtink
(27 July)
An innovative new product developed in New Zealand called 'Skunk Shot' contains synthetic skunk oil in a gel-like substance. It was originally intended as a cat and dog repellent but may find popularity elsewhere - the Richland County Sheriff's Office in Columbia SC is using the stuff to chase trespassers, druggies and squatters out of vacant buildings. So far, it's been used in about a dozen problem areas and proven highly successful. And it's a cheap solution - a tube of the stinky gel goes for $14.95.
- Daily News"
For more info check out the Skunk Shot website.
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It's A Wack World
(27 July)
- An Iranian man who lost his keys 16 years ago has finally found them - embedded in his leg! The bizarre discovery came after the 50-year-old felt a pain in his leg and X-rays revealed the keys inside. The man told doctors he shot himself accidentally 16 years ago but has no idea how the keys fell into the wound.
- After begging for money outside a San Francisco art gallery for years, a panhandler known as 'Don' has given the gallery owner - $10,000! 'Don' just inherited close to 200 grand from his mother's estate and says he's giving the gallery owner a cut for treating him with respect.
- Fat people get their just desserts at least once a year in Forcoli, Italy. At the annual "Mr & Miss Ciccione" competition, male competitors must weigh at least 330 lbs and females 220. This year's heaviest male Fabio Teseo tipped the scales at 453 lbs. Top female Giovanna Guidoni weighed in at 416. 'Cicciona' is Italian for 'chubby'.
- Forget water hazards and sand traps, health hazards are the main concern for golfers at a course in Thailand. That's because the 15th hole at Bangkok's Field Marshall Plaek Golf Course borders - a shooting range. Even the best marksmen sometimes fire off a stray shot.
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Can You Read The Big 'E', Doc?
(26 July)
Dr Graham Fetherston treated more than 1,000 intensive care patients at Frankston Hospital in Sydney, Australia before he was recently sacked. He worked his way up from part-time physician to Deputy Director in just 4.5 years, performing delicate procedures like slitting throats to insert breathing tubes and medicating critically ill patients. All of that before anyone figured out - he's legally too blind to read or drive ... let alone cut open humans!
- "Herald Sun"
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Self-Cleaning Clothes
(26 July)
Researchers at Hong Kong Polytechnic University have come up with what could be the next big thing in fashion - self-cleaning clothes. In experiments, cotton was coated with an ultrathin layer of titanium dioxide, which has a photo-catalytic effect on the fabric when it is put under ultraviolet rays like sunshine. So long as the fabric is exposed to light, it will continue to break down carbon-based materials on the coating's surface. Thus dirt disappears without being washed. Unfortunately, blue dye also disappears, so there's still some fine-tuning to do. Next on the agenda - testing whether the system works on body odour and red-wine stains.
- "Social Studies"
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Land O' Flies
(26 July)
How bad are the mayflies in Minnesota this summer? So bad, snowploughs were called out to clear bug carcasses! That was after a motorcyclist skidded out of control on a highway because the bugs were piled up to 4-inches deep on the road. A sheriff in the area says the mayflies haven't been this bad since the mid-'70s. But the bugs could also mean good news - environmentalists say mayflies are a sign of clean water.
- AP
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The Frivolous Are Frittering
(26 July)
A new UK study shows that office workers are spending almost half their day surfing the Net and sending personal e-mail. Employees now spend an average of 3 hours a day online, up from 2 hours in 2003. A whopping 97% of polled workers say they access the 'Net at work for personal use. Meantime, just 10% of companies say they monitor employees' Internet use. The study concludes that productivity is decreasing and employers are largely unaware of how significant the problem is becoming.
- "The Register"
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International Noos
(23 July)
- A man in Nanjing, China has convinced a plastic surgeon to give him ears like - 'Mister Spock' from "Star Trek". The sci-fi fan says he was bored with their natural shape.
- The head of a German bank has released some unusual advice to customers - stop worrying so much about the acquisition of money, get more sleep and begin having more sex. James Montier says people need to be reminded that there's more to life than 'watching screens'.
- Danish inventor Gunni Jensen has come up with the 'Glideshoe', a safety-shoe for escaping high-rise buildings. In the event of emergency, you strap on the shoe, attach it to an outside railing, then quickly slide down as a guide wire unreels.
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Good Morning, Potted Mums!
(22 July)
A new Japanese invention turns flower petals and leaves into sound machines. The 'Flower Speaker Amplifier' from Let's Corp is designed to be hidden in a vase or potted plant and sends music at just the right frequency to vibrate up the stems and be converted into audible sound by the plant as a whole. A CD player or radio can be connected to it. It's expected to be popular in public areas such as hotel or hospital lobbies. The speakers are expected to hit the market by mid-August priced from $40 to $400, depending on the plant's size.
- Reuters
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Too Stupid For Us To Make Up
(22 July)
- An anti-smoking organization in Stockholm, Sweden is defending its controversial new ad campaign saying it makes use of an old tobacco industry trick - lying. Among the claims made in the group's posters: cigarette filters are filled with mouse excrement, and smoking stunts penis growth.
- Her son is 14 years older than her new husband! 71-year-old grandmother Nyanginda wa Ngugi of Kenya has just wed James Mburu Kamau - who's 19.
- The US Department of Labour has set up a new Website - to help the homeless find jobs.
- Reporter Regan Thaw's news report on Talk Radio 702 in Johannesburg, South Africa was cut a little short this week when he was held-up at gunpoint and robbed of the cellphone he was using - live on-air.
- A traffic cop in the Czech city of Plzen is under investigation after repeatedly shooting his pistol in the air after pedestrians ignored his warning not to - jaywalk.
- One of the taste treats at this summer's Madison County Fair & Rodeo in Nebraska is 100% cholesterol-free, sliced, breaded and seasoned - bull's testicles.
- Here's a real switch: a passenger on a Russian airliner has been assaulted - by intoxicated flight attendants. Two male crew members on a domestic flight beat up a passenger who complained that the attendants were drunk and not doing their jobs.
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Amazing Fact
(22 July)
A bee colony must fly close to 55,000 miles and tap some 2 million flowers in order to make a single pound of honey. (So ... feel guilty gulping that toast & Billy Bee this morning?)
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Buzzwords
(21 July)
New terms leaking into the lingo -
- 'The Straight Sign' - The non-mating ritual that takes place when two heterosexual men meet for a drink, whereby a signal must be passed to confirm there are no ulterior motives involved. It often involves the sudden mention of women as in - "Damn, she's hot!" - even when she's a not-so-hottie.
- 'Mild Cognitive Impairment' ('MCI') - A new term for a subtle decline in thinking ability. A person with MCI may experience memory problems greater than normally expected with aging, but not other symptoms of dementia, such as impaired judgment or reasoning. (Formerly known as a 'senior moment' or just plain 'ditzy'.)
- 'Guerilla Marketing Campaign' - Deliberately planting false info or perpetrating a hoax in order to generate awareness of a project, a ploy that's become all-too-easy thanks to the Internet. The term recently came to light when it was leaked that reclusive movie director M Night Shyamalan ("The Sixth Sense", "Signs") was upset with a Sci Fi Channel documentary about his life because it was a 'disturbing exposé' that unveiled 'a buried secret'. The channel has since admitted that's all hooey.
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Going Up, Waaaay Up
(21 July)
According to scientists working with NASA, the technology is now available to build an elevator 62,000 miles into space. Bradley Edwards, the head of the space elevator project at the Institute for Scientific Research, claims the $10-billion elevator could be operational in less than 15 years. He envisions a 3-foot-wide cable made of nanotubes attached to a platform at the equator. The elevator could carry a payload of up to 13 tons, and could eventually be used as a cheaper, safer form of space travel which would some day be used to carry explorers to other planets. The major obstacles? Politics and funding.
- Yahoo News
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Canada's Still For Sale
(21 July)
The Crown Prince of Dubai has funded a $3-billion project called 'The World' that's been built in the Arabian Gulf off the United Arab Emirates. It consists of hundreds of man-made islands - each representing a country, state or city - that are arranged to look like a map of the world when viewed from above. Each private island is up for sale and can only be accessed by special flights or ferries. Owners can do whatever they want with their island except build a casino, due to strict gambling laws. So far, a Dutch tycoon has purchased 'Ireland' for $15 million and dinosaur rocker Rod Stewart has reportedly bought 'Great Britain' for $33 million.
- "Daily Star"
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Montréal's T-P Trailer
(20 July)
The makes of bathroom tissue Charmin have rigged a clever promotion during Montréal's "Just for Laughs" comedy fest (ending Sunday) - an 18-wheel tractor trailer transformed into 27 home-like washrooms stocked with Charmin Ultra toilet paper. The so-called 'Potty Palooza' parked at the corner of Berri & Ontario Streets sure beats your average port-a-john - it features air conditioning, hardwood floors and uniformed attendants.
- CP
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Spam Sells
(20 July)
According to a global survey of 37,000 Internet users, most people would be more devastated about losing e-mail access than losing their TV. And if you've ever wondered why you receive dozens of spam messages every day, it's because - believe it or not - they work! The survey finds that a whopping 20% of Internet users have purchased products advertised through spam.
- azcentral.com
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Home For The Hops
(20 July)
'Homer Simpson's' greatest dream is about to come true - a 'Beer Hall of Fame'! A Baltimore-based organization of beer lovers is currently searching for the perfect city to host the beer drinker's ultimate vacation destination. The planned attraction will include 7 theme areas - a sports bar, Asian karaoke bar, German beer garden, plus Australian, Caribbean, British & Irish pubs. It will also feature 2,000 different bottled beers and more than 300 brews on tap, and include a brewery tour, beer museum, radio broadcast studio for a 24-hour satellite beer show, plus entertainment for kids and live music. An announcement of the location is planned - when else? - during "Oktoberfest".
- "National Enquirer"
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Don't Squash 'Em, Flick 'Em
(20 July)
Keep this in mind next time pesky mosquitoes are driving you nuts - if you swat them, you may risk infections from their body parts that are smashed into your skin. Researchers investigating the case of a woman who died from an unusual fungal infection 2 years ago have concluded that she must have smashed a mosquito on her skin, smearing its body parts into the bite. Their recommendation - if a mosquito is in mid-bite, it's wiser to flick it off rather than slapping it. For the record, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention disagrees, saying there's no scientific basis for switching to flicking.
- "New England Journal of Medicine"
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For The Record
(20 July)
Someone failed to do their homework! After 341 people in New Zealand thought they had set a new world record for 'fire-walking', they were informed by a "Guinness World Records" official that the record is judged on distance, not on the number of people taking part. Adding injury to insult, 28 of the participants had to be treated for burns after the event.
- Ananova
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New Church Soaks Up Members
(19 July)
Fans of "SpongeBob SquarePants" have set up their own church. The cartoon about the inhabitants of 'Bikini Bottom' was originally designed for children under 4 but has a growing list of celebrity fans like Justin Timberlake, Mike Myers, Britney Spears & Kelly Osbourne. The officially registered 'Church of SpongeBob' now boasts 700 members who've each taken a 'conversion sacrament' pledging their loyalty. The church's manifesto says it promotes 'simple things like having fun and using your imagination'. It offers a study course based on the 'SpongeBob Scriptures'.
- Ananova
For more info check out the Church Of SpongeBob website.
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Reasons To Stop Mowing Your Lawn
(19 July)
- An estimated 60,000 fingers, thumbs, hands and forearms are injured by lawn mowers and weed trimmers each year.
- Several studies, including 2 from Harvard University, show that grass is even more necessary than the Amazon rain forest in oxygenating the planet.
- Allowing land to rest under a carpet of high grasses permits trace minerals and elements to accumulate in the soil for future generations who might want to bulldoze your house and try their hand at farming.
- Experts say that if it's left un-mowed, the average lawn will quickly be overrun with 47 different native plants and weeds - also known as 'potent medicinal herbs' - that you can use to maintain optimal health without involving a doctor or using health insurance.
- Manicured lawns are sucking up prodigious amounts of the world's supply of freshwater while farmers and children in Asia and Africa do without. If you want that blood on your hands, go ahead and crank up the ol' lawn tractor!
- "The Laz-E-Boy Digest"
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Difficult Diners
(16 July)
Former NYC maitre d', Abbe Diaz, has written a new book about the upscale restaurant scene called "PX This", named for the restaurant code for 'VIP treatment', in which she tells tales about celebrity diners. Among the most difficult and demanding - Gwyneth Paltrow, whom she describes as 'one nasty customer'. On the other hand, Diaz says some celebs treat restaurant staff with respect and are a breeze to serve. Among them - Ben Affleck, Pam Anderson & Chris Rock.
- "Daily News"
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Wide World Of Noos
(16 July)
- 27-year-old Eve Marin of Québec City has lost 160 lbs, almost half her previous weight of 335, since undergoing stomach-stapling surgery 3 years ago. Now she's threatening to sue the provincial health plan for refusing to pay for a $5,000-plus procedure to remove - 50 lbs of saggy skin that's hanging from her belly, thighs & arms.
- Chinese author Qian Fuchang is releasing an entire novel - by text messaging. He's currently condensing his "Outside the Fortress Besieged" into 60 brief chapters of 70 words each, in order to make them easier to text.
- A Charlottetown PEI man will not be allowed to own or possess firearms for 5 years after he was caught using a sawed-off .22-caliber rifle - as a nail gun. Police were called a few days ago when Michael Porter was spotted shooting nails at his house to secure a screen over a window.
- About 30,000 weirdos made bids on eBay's UK site to buy - a banana half-eaten by Kate Garraway, host of the British breakfast television show "GMTV". The winning bid of £1,650 (about $3,000) was from a stockbroker who says he'll put the blackening 'nana on display in front of his office.
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Mini-Holiday Ideas
(16 July)
No time or money for a summer holiday? "Ask Men" suggests you try one of these strategies to give yourself a break ...
- Change your routine. It can be as simple as going to work or leaving at a different time.
- Get outside. Go to the park, walk along the waterfront, have a coffee or lunch outdoors.
- Be a kid again. Go to a carnival, zoo, theme park or local festival.
- Be a tourist. Explore an area of your city that you're not familiar with.
- Take day trips. Get out a map, draw a radius covering 1 or 2 hours driving distance and take off in a random direction on weekends.
- Plan a picnic. Have a 'family reunion' ... only with friends you get along with.
- Go hiking. Grab your boots, your water bottle, your backpack, and get moving.
- Rent a scooter and drive around in the sunshine.
- Rent a houseboat. Pool together with friends and hire a houseboat for a long weekend.
- Book a hotel. Go online and find a reasonably priced hotel, preferably with a pool.
- Take a business trip. Offer to take someone's place on an out-of-town business trip. At least you'll be getting away!
- AskMen.com
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Trivia
(16 July)
- What's the difference between 'Virgin Olive Oil' and 'Extra Virgin Olive Oil'?
- Nothing. It's all a marketing ploy.
- 'Virgin' is less than 3% acid, 'Extra Virgin' less than 1%. [CORRECT]
- 'Extra Virgin' is made from the really ugly olives.
- Why do your feet swell up in an airplane?
- Inactivity causes blood to pool in the feet. [CORRECT]
- Air pressure causes lack of circulation.
- Unwillingness to use minuscule airplane restrooms causes water retention.
- Why is a leader or boss called a 'honcho'?
- It's derived from the 14th-century Chinese warrior, General Hon Cho.
- In Mexico, it's a slang word for 'dictator'.
- In Japanese, 'honcho' means 'leader of the squad'. [CORRECT]
- "Imponderables"
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Spoof Book Best-Sellers
(15 July)
Spoof books parodying mega-hits like "Harry Potter" and "The Lord of The Rings" are becoming bestsellers themselves. Top parodies that have become popular include "Bored Of The Rings", "The McAtrix Derided", and "Barry Trotter & The Shameless Parody" which has already spawned the follow-up "Barry Trotter & The Unnecessary Sequel" and author Michael Gerber's upcoming sequel-to-the-sequel "Barry Trotter & The Dead Horse" due this Christmas. That series alone has sold over 300,000 copies!
- "Sun"
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Das Boot Is Down Dere
(15 July)
A team of explorers has discovered the wreckage of a WWII German U-boat 200 km (120 mi) south of Shelburne, Nova Scotia, the first ever found in Canadian waters. 'U-215' was a mine-laying sub that disappeared during combat off the Atlantic coast in 1942. The boat is said to be mostly intact, its hatches unopened, with the remains of 49 sailors still inside. The divers located the sub for an episode of the "National Geographic" TV program "The Sea Hunters".
- "Montréal Gazette"
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Cut The Cheese
(15 July)
The European Commission is taking Germany to the Luxembourg-based European Court of Justice for failing to stop the sale of - fake Parmesan cheese. The Italian cheese, formally called Parmigiano Reggiano, has had a European Union trademark since 1996. It can only be made in a designated region of northern Italy that includes Parma and Reggio Emilia, using a set recipe. By European law, any other cheese cannot be labeled 'Parmesan'.
- Reuters
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Bare Belly No Longer Hip
(15 July)
Now hear this! Belly-baring shirts, visible thong underwear and low-cut jeans are all out. Designer Alex Zabotto-Bentley says that by this winter those in the fashion know will be covering up with soft-flowing materials in longer tops with jeans. Why? When the bare-belly look first became popular 4 or 5 years ago it was a bit looser, but since it has become cropped and tighter and gone from being cool to overtly sexy and a turn-off. Zabotto-Bentley claims we reached the saturation point last summer. So what's the next body part to get exposure? The ankle up to the thigh.
- "Daily Telegraph"
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Buzzwords
(14 July)
- 'Maturialism' - The increasing trend by mature consumers to seek out and purchase the 'best of the best'. ("Of course Al bought a Bimmer now that he's 55, he's into maturialism.") [Find out the difference between Bimmer and Beemer]
- 'Googleproof' - One of the benefits of sharing a name with a celebrity, it's virtually impossible for anyone to find out about you using an Internet search engine. You're Googleproof!
- 'Poddies' - iPod owners. ("I couldn't score a blank CD from any of my friends, they're all poddies.")
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Save Your Kleenex, You Might Get Rich
(14 July)
British artist James Robert Ford's creation 'Bogey Ball' was completed earlier this year and, after being exhibited in London and Nottingham, goes on sale July 26th. But who'd really want it? You see, 'Bogey Ball' is a ping-pong ball-sized chunk of snot, moulded from mucus collected from his nose over 2 years. According to Ford, it's a physical record of all the different places he's been and people he's met. It's now displayed in an egg cup inside a glass box. And the asking price for this truly unique 'work of art'? About £10,000! His previous projects include 'Feecal the Little Chocolate Starfish'.
For more info check out the James Robert Ford website.
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This Money Needs Laundering
(14 July)
Airport police in Bogota, Columbia detained a man who was acting nervous while waiting to board a flight for Lima, Peru. An X-ray showed dozens of latex-wrapped packets inside the suspect's stomach which the cops assumed contained drugs. Nope, not this time! When the mule finally 'passed the packages' it turned out to be cash - $47,500 to be exact.
- "Daily News"
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Toward Better Beer
(13 July)
In the early 1990s, Philips Electronics in the Netherlands developed the 'Digital Compact Cassette' tape format, designed to give CD-quality to cassette tapes. The 'DCC' technology used a hot beam to blast holes in metal film. Thanks to the popularity of CDs, DCCs never caught on but now the Dutch company Fluxxion is adopting the technology to help make - better beer! Fluxxion has developed ultra-fine silicon filters with teeny, tiny holes that will remove yeast residue in the brewing process. Bottom line - brighter, clearer beer could be on the way!
- "New Scientist"
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Worldwide Roar
(13 July)
- A Norwegian couple is facing court action for stripping off and doing the nasty on-stage during a rock concert. They're part of an oddball group dedicated to having sex in public to save the environment. So far, they've raised some $24,000 from sponsors to help save the rain forest.
- A badly injured seagull found by a yacht crew in Turkey has been saved after its wounded leg was amputated and replaced - with parts from a 'Barbie' doll. The bird has recovered and now walks around the boat.
- 24-year-old Australian performance artist Amal Laala says she's disgusted by corporate greed and the power of the banks. That might explain her most recent 'artwork' - vomiting on the pavement in front of a branch of the Australia National Bank. Her previous works have included urinating on a pile of clothing during Melbourne Fashion Week.
- In an attempt to help Australia's dwindling sperm banks, the fertility group Reproductive Medicine Albury is now offering male college students worldwide a free, 2-week trip Down Under, worth up to $7,000, in exchange for their sperm. One stipulation, the studs must make a deposit every 2 days.
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Meet My Son 'Kermit'
(12 July)
An Iranian woman claims to have given birth - to a frog. Or at least a strange frog-like creature of some type. Medical experts have been examining the critter and claim that it resembles an adult frog with some human characteristics. They believe the woman might have picked up larva while swimming in a dirty pool of water, and that the creature might have grown into a full adult frog inside her body.
- BBC
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The Origins of Band Names
(12 July)
'The Origins of Band Names' Website features an alphabetical listing of recent and classic rock and pop groups and the derivation of their names. For instance, did you know Our Lady Peace named themselves after a 1940 poem by Mark Van Doren? Or that Radiohead is named after a Talking Heads song? Excellent site to bookmark for quick reference.
For more info check out the Heathen World website.
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Which villain would you be?
(12 July)
If you were a movie villain which would you be? The 'Liquid Generation' 16-question online quiz will reveal all!
For more info check out the Liquid Generation website.
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It Keeps Going & Going ...
(12 July)
The 'TV remote control' has been voted the 'Best Battery Powered Invention' of the past 70 years in a new survey conducted by Energizer batteries. The 'cell phone' came in 2nd, followed by the 'personal stereo'. And oh, buzzing in at #6 .... the 'vibrator'!
- "Sun"
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Cottonhead Touring
(9 July)
A bewildered 79-year-old American tourist got lost and stuck in the mud in Germany's Bavarian forest after trying to make use of a travel guide - 90 years out-of-date. After a passing farmer used a tractor to tow the geezer back to civilization in his rental car, he showed authorities his travel guide entitled "Beautiful Bayreuth", published on the eve of World War I in 1914.
- DPA
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It's A Weird World
(9 July)
- The Australian Broadcasting Corporation has come under fire for wasting taxpayers' money on a new Website that teaches kids how to - break wind more effectively. It also encourages participation in the 'Great Fart Survey' which asks among other questions, "Are we a nation of silent-but-deadlies or machine gunners?"
- This week a PO-ed husband posted 440 copies of a surveillance video of his cheating wife for auction on eBay. The sale has been quickly ruled invalid and taken off the site.
- Sacramento CA officials have launched an investigation into reports that on-duty firefighters have been cruising streets near bars and dance clubs attempting to pick up women - using fire engines.
- The University of New Brunswick has reversed a previous ruling and will not bar a blind Québec student from its English Immersion Program because he commands his guide dog in French.
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Spam To Scram?
(8 July)
Robert Shaw, an Internet strategy expert with the International Telecommunications Union, has told a UN meeting in Geneva that the battle against spam can be won within 2 years. But governments and software companies will have to join forces to make it happen. If they don't, Shaw warns, millions may simply abandon the Internet out of frustration and disgust. It's estimated that spam costs the global economy as much as $100 billion a year. How so? Lost productivity and time wasted clearing e-mail boxes.
- Reuters
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R-Rated Scrabble
(8 July)
Among the 45,000 additions to the new UK edition of the "Collins Scrabble Words Dictionary": 'arsed', 'bumfluff', 'shagtastic' and 'sparrowfart'.
- "Sun"
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Too Stupid For Us To Make Up
(8 July)
- Villagers in the Mexican state of Veracruz swarmed all over James Caviezel during his recent visit. No, they're not star-struck, they just wanted the "The Passion of the Christ" actor to heal the sick and perform other miracles.
- A man in Chonqing, China suffered 2 broken legs when he leapt out a window because he thought his microwave oven was about to explode. His second mistake - trying to use an umbrella as a parachute, which he thought would help him land safely like 'Mary Poppins'.
- Nikolav Kozlov of Yekaterinburg, Russia is suing his ex-girlfriend for the return of gifts he gave her while they were dating. Among the items he's demanding that she return - Swiss chocolates, nuts, 7 lbs of bananas ... and 'a bright red apple'.
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Imponderables
(8 July)
Q: Why do clocks run 'clockwise'?
A: To mimic their predecessor, the sun dial. Had clocks been invented south of the equator, they'd probably run in the other direction.
Q: Why do clean things squeak more than dirty ones?
A: Squeaks come from the vibrations caused by the friction of two things rubbing against each other. Dirt acts as a lubricant.
Q: How come mole hairs are darker than other body hairs?
A: Moles have more pigment than surrounding skin. Therefore, mole hairs contain more pigment than other hairs.
- "Imponderables"
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New English 101
(7 July)
- 'Summer Slide' or 'Summer Lag' - The academic setback that some kids suffer after being off school for the summer. Best solution: encourage them to read!
- 'Information Environmentalism' - A new movement that seeks to reduce information overload and its effects on people's lives.
- 'Togethering' - A new trend of vacationing with extended family or friends (also known as 'Hell'). ("We're togethering with my sister's family for 2 weeks in the Rockies this August.")
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Drink Safe
(7 July)
Welsh inventor David Burnell has developed the 'Drinkguard', a plastic cap that prevents anything - such as date-rape drugs - from being added to a beer bottle without the drinker knowing. The cap fits on the bottle and locks when a small key is pulled from it. A red warning light on top lights up if anyone attempts tampering. If the key is lost, the cap can still be removed but not without setting the light off. Burnell's now looking for investors as he attempts to get his product on the market before Christmas.
- "Weekly News"
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Flippers Online
(7 July)
You'll soon be able to listen live online to sounds made by a pod of about 50 dolphins living off the west coast of Ireland. Scientists are installing a sound system in the Shannon estuary and hope to begin streaming the dolphin sounds online by September. The Shannon Dolphin & Wildlife Foundation also hopes to establish a dial-a-dolphin phone line where you can call up and listen in.
- AFP
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Quit Looking At Me!
(7 July)
After more than a thousand experiments, scientists at Freiburg University Hospital in Germany have concluded that we may have a 'sixth sense' that we're being stared at. Dr Stefan Schmidt admits the effects are small, but there is evidence that people feel a 'prickling' sensation when someone unseen is staring at them.
- "British Journal of Psychology"
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Beware The Hack Job
(6 July)
In an effort to stop a decade-long increase in surgical mishaps, new procedures have been developed for surgical teams to make sure the right patient is being operated on and the right part of that patient is sliced into. At least 275 known 'wrong-site', 'wrong-procedure' or 'wrong patient' cases have occurred in the US since 1999, a number experts say is probably vastly under-reported. Surgeons have removed wrong organs, amputated wrong limbs, drilled into the wrong side of a patient's head, even given the wrong patient heart surgery. The new checklist of procedures includes ...
- Making sure the right patient is on the operating table.
- Having all medical staff agree on which body part to work on.
- Making sure X-rays are not reversed, causing the wrong side of the body to be operated on.
- Having the surgeon sign off on the incision site, preferably while the patient is still conscious.
- AP
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Daily Dose Of Rubbish In Ads
(6 July)
"Popular Science" magazine sponsored a study to note and debunk every single scientific claim the average person hears in a typical day. Not surprisingly, the majority of the 106 so-called 'scientific' claims came from advertisers. Among them ...
- A breakfast cereal claiming it can 'reduce your cholesterol'.
- A dairy product that claims its cows 'graze freely on lush natural pastures'.
- E-mail spam that claims you can develop 'huge breasts overnight'.
- Diet supplements that claim they make you feel '20 years younger'.
The bottom line - few of the scientific facts we hear each day are completely true, and many are outright lies!
For more info check out the PopSci.com website.
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It Was A [Not So] Dark & Stormy Night
(6 July)
The new book "Acquainted With the Night" by Christopher Dewdney says that 'light pollution', the brightening of the night sky in urban areas, has increased by about 10% per year for the past 30 years. The author suggests that nighttime in populated areas is now just a dilution of daylight. Not only has that made stars invisible and wreaked havoc with night creatures, it also seems to have affected human health.
- "Canadian Geographic"
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It's A Wack World
(6 July)
- To please the 'rain god' during a dry spell in south-western Nepal, female rice farmers are ploughing their fields at night ... in the nude.
- A confused convict in a Portuguese prison could have used a map when he decided to tunnel his way to freedom. After digging in the wrong direction, he ended up 21 meters short of the prison wall and popped his head out ... in the middle of the prison courtyard. He was escorted back to his cell.
- Macquarie Park Cemetery in Sydney, Australia cemetery wants to build - a children's playground. The idea is to allow kids to fun while their families mourn. Some local folks are gravely concerned by the idea and want it buried.
- Ron England of Los Angeles is trying to get rid of his pennies - all $10,000-worth! It seems 30 years ago he bet his brother he could save a million pennies in exchange for a dinner in Paris. He did, eventually stacking up 20,000 rolls that fill 13 boxes in his garage, but now he's retiring to Oregon and can't find anybody who'll take them - without charging a big fee.
- The owners of a London eatery are offering free meals to anybody who's descended from notorious Mongol leader Genghis Khan - and it's even giving free DNA tests to help them prove it. The Shish restaurant's wacky promotion is in honour of the Mongolian government's decision to let citizens use the name Genghis Khan for the first time since it was banned by the communists in the 1920s. Some 50,000 Mongolians now proudly claim direct descent from Genghis Khan, and bear his name.
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Money-Speak
(5 July)
In its 8th annual "World Wealth Report", investment bank Merrill Lynch & Co refers to people with more than $1-million in assets (excluding their main home) as 'HNWIs' or 'High Net Worth Individuals'. People with $30-million or more in assets are 'Ultra-HNWIs'. Folks with a mere $500,000 to $1-million are simply the 'Mass Affluent'.
- Reuters
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For Love Or Money
(5 July)
Remember last February when Mattel Corp announced that 'Barbie' and 'Ken' had split ... after 43 years together? Well thank goodness, she's found someone new! With the help of over 2 million online voters, she's decided the new guy in her life is Australian surfer-type 'Blaine', who just happens to be the brother of 'Barbie' friend 'Summer'. He'll arrive in stores this month, retailing for $14.99. this fall, Mattel will launch a fragrance for 'Barbie', purportedly a scent reminiscent of a 'bouquet of fresh flowers full of fantasy'.
- "USA Today", "Women's Wear Daily"
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No Trespassing
(5 July)
About 60 people in Sauerland, Germany have written US president Bush to complain about NASA's plans for a permanent moon base. In 1997, they bought real estate on the moon from a Nevada entrepreneur for about $25. The complainers worry about having their 'lunar gardens with defaced space junk'. Several even included a written ban on trespassing.
- Deutsche Welle news service.
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Best Food
(5 July)
Despite biases for or against proteins, fats and carbohydrates, there are certain foods that most nutritional experts agree have the best disease-fighting, health-promoting qualities. A survey of nutritionists came up with the following list of stuff that's good for ya ...
- Blueberries (more antioxidant power than any other fruit)
- Green leafy vegetables
- Nuts (a compacted source of all the nutrients a plant needs to grow)
- Avocados
- Whole grains
- Legumes, including soy (protein, fibre, vitamins and minerals)
- Low-fat milk and yogurt
- Eggs (complete protein in a low-cal package)
- Dark unsweetened chocolate
- "Newsday"
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How To Write The Perfect Joke
(2 July)
Scientists-slash-comedians Helen Pilcher & Timandra Harkness from the Comedy Research Project in London claim to have developed the formula for the perfect joke ... c = (m+nO)/p. Let's break it down: 'c' is the 'funniness of the joke'; 'm' is the 'comic moment' (arrived at by multiplying the punch line's 'funniness' rating by the length of the 'build-up'); 'n' is the number of times the subject undergoes a pratfall; 'O' is the 'ouch factor' (the social or physical pain of the indignity involved in the joke); and the whole thing is divided by 'p', the number of 'puns' in the joke.
- "The Guardian"
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International Noos
(2 July)
- 2-year-old identical twins in Manchester UK have each broken their left arms ... in exactly the same place ... on the same day ... on the same backyard slide! After the first twin fell off the slide and broke his arm, his mother took him to the hospital while the father laid the slide on its side to avoid further accidents. Only hours later, the 2nd twin tripped over the slide, also breaking his left arm.
- A company called 'The Perfect Alibi' has been so successful in Germany, it's now expanding its services into Austria. The agency helps over 300 clients per month to - cheat. How? By providing excuses for them to be away from their partners, such as invitations to weekend business seminars.
- A British insurance company is looking for a new location because employees are offended by a neighbouring tenant who - pretends to have sex with plastic blow-up animals. The firm is forced to move because a court has ruled it cannot legally stop the 45-year-old degenerate's daily performances in front of his window ... with a blow-up cow or pig.
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June 2004 News
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