Buzzwords (30 June)

A review of some new terms invading our jargon ...

• 'SACD' (Super Audio CD) - A new CD format that uses 'Direct Stream Digital' (DSD) technology to convert music into a digital signal. It's said to offer resolution that's 64 times higher than a regular CD and reproduces details you previously couldn't hear. Many classic CDs are being scheduled for re-release in the new format. Note: Although the discs can be played on current CD and DVD players, you'll need a new 'SACD'-capable player to get the full effect.
  For more info check out the Super Audio CD website.
• 'Groundhog Day' - When a company's management ignores obvious problems and allows them to resurface on a daily basis, just like the events in the Bill Murray movie of the same name. ("Natalie booked off sick again. That's the third Monday this month it's been Groundhog Day.")
• 'DDS System' - A new 'behaviour modification mouth appliance' which prevents you from eating large mouthfuls of food. The dental plate is worn only during meals and fits on the roof of the mouth to restrict the amount of space for food, which reduces the amount you eat by about 25% and also makes you chew more slowly. Bottom line ... $500.
  For more info check out the DDS System website.

Chocolate Habit To Get Expensive (30 June)

Dr Gareth Griffith of the University of Wales says the price of chocolate could soar if diseases that have devastated South America's cocoa crops spread to other parts of the world. Fungi expert Griffith fears that infections such as 'Witches Broom Disease' could spread to Africa and trigger an international chocolate shortage. Fungal infections of cocoa in Brazil have put some 200,000 out of work.
- "Biologist" magazine.

AC Efficiency (29 June)

Just in time for the summer sizzle, here are a few tips on how to make your air conditioner more efficient...

1. Clean or replace the air filter once a month.
2. Direct the air vents upward (cool air falls).
3. Start it well before the hottest part of the day.
4. Weather-strip doors and windows.
5. Don't use appliances that produce heat during the hottest part of the day.

Are You 'On The Phone'? (29 June)

Using a mobile phone can slash a man's sperm count by almost a third, new research suggests. The study found that radiation from mobile phones appears to have a dramatic impact not only on numbers of sperm but also their swimming ability or 'motility'. In both cases, levels were cut by about 30%. Reductions in sperm count and motility lower the chances of conception.
- "Lincolnshire Echo"

Goofy Gizmos & Gadgets (28 June)

• Tired of phone callers being drowned out by ambient noise? A new wireless phone called 'Jawbone' uses vibrations in the bones of the user's face to distinguish the user's voice from background noise. Thus the voice can be amplified while the background is dampened. It's due out this autumn.
• A German scientist has invented a new aid to help you remember things - 'Memory Spectacles'. The prototype consists of a helmet with a pair of front-mounted cameras to record images of what the user sees. The images can then be played back to help the absent-minded remember where they put their car keys or other forgotten events.

Accident Excuses (28 June)

Drivers can sure get creative when it comes to giving excuses for the cause of an accident. Here are a few real wowzers gleaned from actual accident reports ...

• "I became so impressed with my truck's beeping back-up signal, I backed into a wall while listening to it."
• "I didn't know my foot was still on the accelerator."
• "The other car shouldn't have been in my way."
• "I swerved to hit a tree that wasn't there."
• "I was going the wrong way down a one-way street when I hit a car which was not there when going the other way."
• "The horse came out of nowhere and landed on my car."

True Crime (28 June)

• A pair of Detroit robbers entered a music store nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
• A wannabe bank robber in Modesto CA was arrested for trying to hold up a branch using his thumb and forefinger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
• An Illinois man pretended to have a gun in order to kidnap a motorist and force him to drive to 2 different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money ... from his own bank accounts!
• There wasn't much money in the till when a guy robbed a Topeka KS convenience store, so he tied up the clerk and worked the counter himself ... for 3 hours!

Just Add Water (25 June)

Ever heard of powdered booze? A new product called 'Senba Alcohol Powder' contains 30% alcohol by dry weight but is classified as a 'non-beverage'. It's designed primarily to be used as a flavouring ingredient for cake mixes, ice cream, chocolates, candy, coffees, etc. Adding powdered alcohol is said to improve taste and accentuate other flavours. Yeah, but can you get hammered on it?
For more info check out the SenbaUSA website.

Now Serving Spam (25 June)

Wonder how the heck spam artists latch onto your e-mail address? A 24-year-old AOL software engineer has just been arrested for stealing the company's entire subscriber list - some 30 million customers - and selling it to a 21-year-old spammer in Las Vegas LAST YEAR. He, in turn, used the list to promote his online gambling business, then sold it again to some other spammers, one of whom used it to market herbal penile enlargement pills.
- "Smoking Gun"

Atlantis Found ... Again (24 June)

Yet another scientist has claimed to have found the location of the mythical lost continent of 'Atlantis'. Dr Rainer Kuehne of Germany's University of Wuppertal has analyzed satellite photos of a salt marsh region near the city of Cadiz, Spain which was destroyed by a flood over 3,000 years ago and seems to fit the description of 'Atlantis' given by Plato. Kuehne claims the photos show concentric rings just as Plato described and, although the site lies within a national park, he's hoping to gather together enough archaeologists to excavate it and unearth evidence of his claim.
- BBC

Too Stupid For Us To Make Up (24 June)

• A British student has been barred from taking an exam ... for wearing the wrong pants! The boy's mother has filed a complaint after Coseley School in Wolverhampton told her son he couldn't write the exam wearing charcoal grey trousers instead of black. The poor kid was forced to zip to the nearby home of an aunt, who helped him shop for new pants then returned him to take the test ... 35 minutes late.
• The owners of the Tiger Lily Petting Farm near Parksville BC are mystified why a thief keeps stealing ... the tails off their ponies. Over the past month, 14 of their 17 ponies have had their ground-length tails chopped off. If caught, the tail-clipper faces charges of theft, cruelty to animals, mischief, and trespassing. There's no known marketable use for pony tails.
• A South African woman has settled a lawsuit in which she claimed to have developed a phobia about toilets ... after falling off one in a hotel. The 59-year-old sued Sun International Hotels, asking for 'pain, injury, medical treatment and loss of amenities' ... whatever that may be. She was asking for $14,000 but settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.
• This week organizers at London, England's Plaza Shopping Centre were disappointed when only 15 shoppers showed up for their first ever ... naked shopping event. Seems there just aren't many consumers willing to look for bargains in the buff. By the way, the staff remained fully clothed.
• Russia's notoriously reckless drunk drivers now have an alternative - for a fee, several 'evacuation services' will tow drunk drivers and their friends home in their vehicle, even giving them a complimentary bottle of champagne. Prices start at about $45. The one restriction - customers have to be sober enough to explain where they want to be picked up.

Did You Know? (24 June)

• You're 13% more likely to be murdered for money than for love.
• You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
• The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
• Mosquitoes are twice as attracted to the colour blue than any other colour.

New-Century Jargon (23 June)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Heteroflexible' - A heterosexual person who is open to relationships with people of the same sex.
• 'Chugger' - A professional fundraiser who approaches people on the street to ask for money on behalf of a charity.
• 'Undecorating' - Making over a home or room to give it a simpler, less cluttered look.

Snack Piggies (23 June)

Despite the fact that Kiev, Ukraine has one of the highest rates of death from heart disease in Europe, an upscale restaurant there is serving up a local favourite - chocolate-covered pork fat. The 'S'-shaped treat called 'Chocolate Salo' (nicknamed 'Ukrainian Snickers') is said to be salty on the inside and sweet on the outside. Health critics say it's one of the unhealthiest snacks in the world.
- BBC

Now Sweat Can Catch Druggies (23 June)

The UK's Global Detection & Reporting has developed a drug testing kit which, unlike other methods, does not require urine samples. 'DrugWipe' is a fleece strip that detects tiny amounts of drugs in human sweat or on any shiny surface. It can identify even trace amounts of amphetamines, cannabis, cocaine and opiates. If the test is positive, a red line shows up on a pen-like probe. However, the fact that DrugWipe can be used without the knowledge of the person being tested is causing controversy.
- ANI

Can There Be Too Much Sleep? (23 June)

Australian researchers say too much sleep can be as big a problem as not enough. People who suffer 'reverse insomnia' regularly oversleep and end up getting far more than nature dictates. Those extra few hours per night can make them feel as lousy as insomniacs.
- "Sunday Mail"

Hey! You! Get Off My Wi-Fi (22 June)

Is wireless Internet available in your office? BAE Systems has developed a 'stealth wallpaper' that prevents outsiders from accessing or monitoring a company's Wi-Fi Internet traffic but still allows other radio and cell phone traffic to get through. 'FSS' (Frequency Selective Surface) panels have previously been used in stealth aircraft and will soon be available for commercial use.
- Silicon.com website.

Today's Blue Plate Special (22 June)

The Nelson Diner in New Zealand has begun serving - road kill. Not faked-up stuff like US restaurant chain Road kill Café serves, but real possums killed in road accidents. A variety of dishes appear on the menu with clever names like 'Headlight Delight' and 'Guess That Mess'. One of the more popular is a sandwich in which the road kill oozes out of pita bread. Oh, yum.
- "NY Post"

Too Stupid For Us To Make Up (22 June)

• Kesgrave High School in Ipswich, England has become the first in Britain (and maybe anywhere) to ban - skirts. As of September, all female students (and presumably males) will be required to wear pants. Why? Hemlines have risen to an 'inappropriate level'.
• Here's an indication of how self-involved we've all become - a Shepherdstown WV man was pinned beneath his van while working on it in his driveway and eventually died because no one took any notice ... for 4 days!
• A 34-year-old registered sex offender in Edinburgh, Scotland has been let off with a warning after appearing in court for - having simulated sex with a traffic pylon. His previous convictions include simulating sex in public ... with a training shoe.
• While most kids get out of final exams by merely skipping them, a 17-year-old girl at Los Amigos High in Fountain Valley CA accomplished the job by - setting off tear gas. Fortunately no one was hurt, but many of her test-taking peers suffered through a gagging fit.
• A German woman is facing cruelty charges after starving her pet dog so it would fit - in her carry-on luggage. Airport authorities in Nuremberg seized the rickety pooch that was found to weigh just half its normal weight.
• A 32-year-old teacher's aide was yanked from a cruise ship in Miami at 6:30 am Friday, placed in handcuffs & leg shackles and hauled before a judge, accused of failing to pay a year-old fine. Her crime? Failing to secure marshmallows and hot chocolate from wildlife while camping in Yellowstone National Park - a $50 misdemeanour.
• Cops in south western China have closed down some 215 restaurants after discovering they were mixing opium poppy - into their food. Soups and stews were routinely being laced with narcotics to guarantee repeat customers. It seems this food really was addictive!
• To protest all the intentional walks Barry Bonds is drawing this season (already approaching 100), the San Francisco Giants have begun selling - rubber chickens. Profits from the $10 orange cluckers named 'Walker' go to charity.

For The Record (22 June)

• 67-year-old Tran Van Hay from Giang province in Vietnam hasn't been to a barber in 31 years and now has tresses measuring 6.2 meters (20 ft-4 ins). He's hoping the "Guinness Book of Records" will certify that beats the previous 'Longest Hair' record of 5.15 meters (16 ft-10 ins) help by a Thai. Tran might also set a related record - he hasn't washed his hair in 6 years.
• A Chihuahua in Harpenden, England named 'Star' has recently been declared the 'World's Smallest Dog'. At 5-inches-long and weighing just over 1 lb, she's so tiny she can sit in a martini glass or snuggle inside a shoe.

Makes Scents (21 June)

University of Southampton researchers have found that candles laced with eucalyptus, orange and thyme oils may destroy bacteria known to carry food-born diseases. According to the BBC, the method may be as effective as scrubbing with disinfectants.

Don't Leave Earth Without It (21 June)

The chairmen of the Bulgarian Foundation on Cosmic Intelligence Research has unveiled a new unit of currency to be used between - extra-terrestrials and Earthlings. The "Galactos", a 3-gram coin made of chrome and nickel, was unveiled LAST WEEK at a conference on UFOs in Sofia, Bulgaria. "We are offering the galactos as a means of payment between planets. It will represent the Earth in financial relations in the Cosmos," Kiril Kanev told the conference.

Emperor's New Clothes (18 June)

Susumu Tachi, a professor of Computer Science & Physics at the University of Tokyo, has developed a garment that makes it possible to see through the wearer - sort of. Actually, the 'optical camouflage cloak' uses light-reflective beads and tiny cameras that project what is behind the wearer on to the front of the garment, and vice versa. The effect makes the wearer blend in with the background and thus appear invisible.
- "London Observer"

Beer That's Good For You (18 June)

Germany's 400-year-old Neuzeller Kloster Brewery has developed what it calls 'Anti-Aging-Bier', a healthful ale bolstered with - minerals and seaweed. It's described as a dark beer with a bitter aftertaste but, surprisingly, not a hint of fishiness. The brewer claims it has double the anti-oxidant effect of other beers, thereby helping to stave off illness and prolonging life.
- Reuters

Homing Pigeons Use Road Maps (17 June)

After a 10-year study utilizing GPS devices, researchers at England's Oxford University have concluded that homing pigeons do NOT get their bearings from the Sun, as previously thought, but rather - just follow roads and highways to get home. Tests revealed that most pigeons, instead of relying on their own inner compasses, followed highways and made turns at junctions - often adding miles to their journeys!
- "Wired News"

First Phone Virus Discovered (17 June)

The first-ever computer virus that can infect mobile phones has been discovered in France. Security software maker Kaspersky Labs says the 'Cabir' virus appears to have been developed by an international group that creates viruses to show that no technology is reliable or safe. The comparatively harmless bug writes the inscription 'Caribe' on a cell phone's screen and is able to send a copy of itself whenever the phone used. Anti-virus experts have been warning for some time that mobile phone viruses are set to become a problem.
- Agence France-Presse

Gas Prices Worldwide (17 June)

Oil market observers say gasoline prices may be 'turning the corner' and should continue declining this summer. Check out what motorists elsewhere have been paying recently (priced in US dollars per US gallon)...

• UK $5.64
• Hong Kong $5.62
• Germany $5.29
• Switzerland $4.56
• Japan $3.84
• Australia $2.63
• Canada $2.34
• USA $1.98
• China $1.54
• Russia $1.45
• Venezuela $0.14

For The Record (17 June)

• British tycoon Richard Branson (Virgin Music, Virgin Atlantic Airlines, etc) has broken the record for crossing the English Channel in an amphibious vessel, completing the 22-mile trek in 1 hour, 40 minutes, 6 seconds, well below the previous record of 6 hours held by a pair of Frenchmen.
• 38-year-old Vermont native Larry Olmsted has set an as-yet unofficial new record for 'Longest Casino Poker Session', playing at a Foxwoods Resort Casino table in Mashantucket CT for a total of 72 hours, taking only occasional bathroom breaks.

Amazing Fact (17 June)

A team of 100 Chinese environmentalists plans to climb Mt Everest to - clean up trash. It's estimated that over 600 tons of garbage have been left behind since the world's tallest peak was opened up for mountaineering in 1921. Everest is now visited by more than 20,000 people annually.
- "Social Studies"

Buzzwords (16 June)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Praise Dancing' - Choreographed movements used by young born-agains to celebrate their faith (because real dancing is often verboten). There are now praise-dance concerts, Websites, apparel catalogues, conferences, and studios offering classes.
• 'Body Pump' - A strenuous new exercise regimen developed in New Zealand that sets weight training to music. How strenuous? It's possible to burn 500 calories in a single session.
• 'Paula Abduling' - Giving perky, positive feedback in an effort to spare someone's feelings. ("I just had my job review and the only thing the boss complimented me on was my tidy desk ... I think she's just Paula Abduling me.")
• 'Remote Body Scanning' - A new technology that uses terahertz radio waves to view hidden weapons, explosives or drugs underneath clothing. Unfortunately, it also exposes your private parts.

Indian Sports Slang (16 June)

Just as North American sports commentators use unique terms to describe sports action, announcers in India also have distinctive expressions. Here are a few English translations from broadcasts of the game of cricket ...

• "The batsman has a royal stroke."
• "His bat is roaring like a lion!"
• "Runs are flowing from his bat like water from the Ganges River."
• "[Losing team] is tumbling over like a row of bicycles without their stands."

Scientists Say (16 June)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...

• Scientists say ... we need noise. The human ear seems to need a workout to stay in shape. "New Scientist" reports that a global survey has found that city dwellers have better hearing than those in quiet, rural areas.
• Scientists say ... less-educated people have fewer stressful days, according to a recent study at Wake Forest University in North Carolina.
• Scientists say ... women who cheat can't help it, it's in their genes! British scientists have found that a woman's infidelity trait may be linked to particular genes inherited from parents.

Colours Look Brightest When We're 25 (15 June)

Researchers at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, who are using brain waves to study colour vision in children, say the ability to distinguish between different hues varies with age. Researcher Catherine Suttle of the School of Optometry & Vision Science says colour sensitivity is at its highest at about age 25, then starts to decline with age.
- "The Age"

Fantastic Fare (15 June)

A computer glitch resulted in $61 round-trip tickets to Iceland for well over 100 people who happened to notice the bargain on the cheaptickets.com Website, according to the Iceland Tourist Board. The fare, inadvertently posted May 25th for a day-and-a-half, is less than 10% of the normal cost of a typical summer tour ticket, which runs about $787.
- "Chicago Sun-Times"

Never Wash Your Bird (15 June)

Britain's Food & Drink Federation has warned that rinsing a chicken under the tap may seem like a sensible and hygienic thing to do - but it's not! It can spread any bacteria on the chicken to nearby surfaces and foods. Food safety experts say that rinsing poultry is unnecessary because the cooking process kills food poisoning bacteria. In fact, rinsing the bird under the tap actually splashes any bacteria on the bird onto nearby taps, kitchen surfaces and foods.
- ANI

New Gizmos & Gadgets (15 June)

• Japanese toilet-maker Toto has developed the hi-tech 'Neorest' toilet that features a wireless remote to raise or lower the seat, a built-in deodorizer, a warm-air dryer, as well as water temperature, pressure and massaging options. The 'bottom' line - $5,000.
• Mummy won't be 'making the windows laugh' when she cleans them much longer. The Pilkington Co has come up with windows that clean themselves. New 'Activ' glass has an extremely thin coating of titanium oxide which breaks down dirt when it reacts to daylight. Then when water hits it, the dirt just slides off.
• A sampling of homeowners in Anaheim CA are currently testing a new blend of fake grass to see if it significantly reduces water use. If the program is successful, the city will offer rebates to citizens who permanently install the faux ground cover. The downside - it costs about 7 times more than regular sod.
• This summer Duncan Toys will introduce a new 'luxury yo-yo' made of magnesium sulphate alloy milled to fine tolerance and featuring ceramic ball bearings to reduce friction and increase 'sleep time' (when the yo-yo is at the end of its string) up to 14 minutes. Only 200 'Freehand M-Gs' will be made and sold each year - at $400 a pop!

Amazin' Animals (14 June)

• Animal researchers in Leipzig, Germany report that an 8-year-old collie dog named 'Rico' can understand an incredible 200 words.
• Cambridge University scientists have found that sheep can recognize up to 50 facial expressions of other members of their flock and handlers.

Fathers Are Funnier (14 June)

The big difference between "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day" cards? Humour! A survey of greeting cards shows only about 15% of Mom's Day greetings are funny, while the majority of Dad's Day cards feature some form of humour.

Shocking News - Soft Drinks Rot Your Teeth (14 June)

A study of the effects of carbonated drinks in the July/August issue of the journal "General Dentistry" finds that, over time, exposing dental enamel to carbonated beverages weakens and permanently destroys it. Researchers say that both carbonated drinks and canned ice tea contain flavour additives, such as malic, tartaric and other organic acids, which are more aggressive at eroding teeth.

It's A Wacky World (14 June)

• A bus driver in Carroll, Iowa has resigned after being accused of allowing children as young as 11-years-old to drive ... the school bus.
• Illegal loggers in a northern province of the Philippines have been hiring women to strip naked to prevent forest rangers from seizing stolen logs. How's that work? It seems enforcement officers refuse to make busts for fear of being accused of exploitation or rape.
• Professional computer hackers in Russia are now advertising their services on the Internet, offering to 'take out' any designated Website for as little as ... $60.
• A Salzburg, Austria waitress is facing life in jail after persuading a drunk to run into a wall in emulation of the 'Touch Down' game on the TV show "Jackass". The 30-year-old man agreed to give it a try, ran headfirst into a wall, broke his neck ... and died.
• A total of 9 police cruisers from 3 different forces responded to a panic call from a high school in Woodbury NY after a food fight broke out in the cafeteria involving ... over 300 students.

For The Record (14 June)

• 27-year-old London marathoner Huw (Hugh) Lobb has become the 1st human to win the annual "Man vs Horse" race in its 25-year history. SATURDAY he completed a 22-mile course through rural Wales in 2 hours, 5 minutes, 19 seconds, topping a field of 500 humans and over 40 horses to pick up the $45,000 prize, which had never been awarded before. Brit bookmaking firm William Hill had to pay out on scores of bets at odds of 16 to 1.
  - BBC
• 24-year-old IT consultant Tom Gibson is currently attempting a new world's record for watching TV non-stop. Surprisingly, the current record is a paltry 47 hours, which Gibson plans to increase by 3 for a total of 50 hours of tube time.
  - Sky News

Too Stupid For Us To Make Up (11 June)

• Wacky artist Cosimo Cavallaro, who once repainted a NYC hotel room with melted mozzarella, has unveiled his latest creation at New York's Roger Smith Hotel - a four-poster bed covered in 312 lbs of processed ham. When he was a kid, his mother ran a deli in Montréal.
• Inmates at a jail in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico where more than 300 women have been murdered over the past decade are now enjoying a new experimental rehabilitation program that includes piped-in classical music and - aromatherapy.
• A Chinese couple in Sichuan province who are in their 80s are divorcing after being happily married for decades. The problem? The husband came home one day as - an elderly woman. Seems he decided to have a sex change operation and forgot to mention it to the wife. She says she's unable to come to terms with his new look.
• A female patient will never forget her visit to a Halton, England dentist. It took him 2 attempts to inject anaesthetic, then he began a tooth extraction before it took effect, and finally he completely passed out - on top of her! Seems he'd had 6 glasses of wine during lunch. This week the UK's General Dental Council is considering a bit of yanking of their own - his license to practice.

World Naked Bike Ride (11 June)

Tomorrow is the "World Naked Bike Ride" when naturists around-the-globe will take to the streets on bicycles to protest oil dependency and 'celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies'. Groups have been organized to participate in Montréal, Toronto, Vancouver, & Victoria.
For more info check out the World Naked Bike Ride website.

Guide Dogs Soon On Unemployment (10 June)

Finland's VTT Technical Research Center is contributing to the seemingly endless quest to use cellphones for every conceivable function by developing a voice-based mobile phone system to help guide the visually-impaired. The guidance system uses a GPS device paired to a cell phone with Internet access to connect users to online interactive maps and public transit databases. These features will tell the blind, through a voice-enabled feature, how to navigate about town, plan a trip by public transportation, get to the nearest stop on that route and when to get off at the right place. The service is currently being tested, but is so far only available in Finnish.
- AFP

How To Speed Without Getting Caught (10 June)

• Most cops lurk in the median, so stay to the right except to pass.
• Watch for unmarked cars, particularly Ford Crown Victorias.
• Drive behind truckers who have both CBs and an encyclopaedic knowledge of speed traps.
• Check headlights and brake lights so cops won't have another excuse to pull you over.
• Beware the end of the month. It's when cops are trying to make their quotas.
• Try to blend in. If you drive a vibrant red Porsche, you've already got 2 strikes against you.
• Websites like beartraps.com and speedtrap.org list trouble spots.
• Many police departments now use laser detection equipment so they can pick single vehicles out of a group. While radar jammers are illegal almost everywhere - laser jammers are not!

Amazing Fact (10 June)

Candymaker Jelly Belly has posted a tribute to noted Jellybean fan Ronald Reagan on its Website, including a portrait of him done completely out of jellybeans.
For more info check out the Jelly Belly website.

Web Goodies (10 June)

The 'Beer 101' Website offers Webcam links to allow you to hear (and listen) to what's going on in bars all over the place. What about installing station Webcams in a few public areas in your market? You'll be able to spot people and call them over for an on-air chat.
For more info check out the Beer 100 web cams website.

Modern English 101 (9 June)

New terms leaking into the lingo ...

• 'Living Bandage' - A bandage or dressing made from skin cells, particularly cells cultured from a sample of the patient's own skin.
• 'Six-Pack Tummy Tuck' - A new cosmetic surgery in which waist fat is removed and abdominal muscles sewn together to give the illusion of a pumped-up 'six-pack', a procedure for which Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr Anthony Griffin charges circa $15,000. He also offers the 'Brazilian Butt Lift'.
• 'Mongo' - Objects retrieved from the garbage either through 'dumpster diving' or 'drive-by shopping'.

Goofy New Gizmos (9 June)

• German inventor Alex Benkhardt is looking to export his 'WC Ghost' to foreign markets. The gadget fits under the toilet seat rim and when the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:
  "What are you up to? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a mess!" He's already sold more than 1.6 million of the gizmos in Europe.
• Donell Co skin-care researchers have come up with a new line of creams to heal irritated skin. The primary ingredient - cartilage taken from cows! The bovine by-product is said to work wonders on redness from leg waxing, oozing from facial peels, rawness from rashes and the general crustiness of dry skin. In case all of this leaves you a tad woozy, keep in mind the company promises the products don't contain any diseased cow parts.
• Sharp Corp's new V602SH cell phone is likely the king of handheld gadgets. "New Scientist" reports it not only allows you to play 3-D games, send e-mail and take high-quality digital photos, it also features a radio, mini-TV, video editor and ... karaoke machine.

Gross-Out Noos (9 June)

• The municipal council of Kotzen, Germany has voted 5-3 against changing the town's name even though local residents are fed up with all the jokes about it. Why? 'Kotzen' is German for 'barf'.
• Speaking of which - if you vomit in the streets of Bendigo, Australia you may have to clean it up. Local authorities are so sick of the stench in town after big party nights, they're vowing to make offenders use a bucket and mop to scrub up their own mess. A local cop and master of understatement says drunken behaviour is 'a bit of a problem' there.
• A group of Buddhist monks in Nara, Japan has blocked the trade marking of the name of a candy called 'Snot From The Nose of the Great Buddha'. Of course, that hasn't stopped vendors from selling it to tourists at a giant Buddha statue near their monastery. The gooey sweets come in a package featuring a picture of a stylized Buddha - with a finger up his nose!

Going Through The Wringer (8 June)

Career experts say today's job seekers should be prepared for innovative new interviewing techniques designed to evoke behavioural reactions and test flexibility. Here are just a few of the so-called 'tests' now being used by personnel managers ...

• Calling candidates at home, posing as a telemarketer.
• Dropping a pen on the floor or spilling something on candidates to see how they react.
• Asking job seekers to drive to see if they'll take responsibility.
• Making candidates wait, then gauging their reaction.

Transit of Venus (8 June)

Today most of the inhabited world will have a chance to witness one of the rarest spectacles in nature - the "Transit of Venus". At sunrise (EDT), the planet Venus will pass directly between the Sun and Earth, dimming its light by a whopping one-tenth of 1% (seems minor, but astronomers are orgasmic). It is the most infrequent of solar eclipses. The last time it occurred was December 6, 1882. As with all solar eclipses, you should not look directly at it with the naked eye.
For more info check out the Transit of Venus website.

Slimming While You Shop (7 June)

In Britain, grocery carts are called trolleys and the new 'Trim Trolley' is designed to help shoppers burn calories while shopping. The gizmo allows the shopper to select different levels of resistance, making the cart harder to push. It also features a pulse monitor, a timer, and a computer for working out speed and how many calories have been burned. So far it's just a demonstration gimmick introduced by supermarket chain Tesco, but the company says it if proves popular, it will introduce it in all its stores.
- "Science"

Down In The Dumps, Up In Price (7 June)

Feeling down or disgusted? Don't buy or sell anything! And whatever you do, stay away from eBay or other online shopping sites until you cheer up. That's because people tend to pay considerably more for an item when they're sad, claims psychologist Jennifer Lerner of Carnegie Mellon University. At the same time, she says, feelings of disgust can lead people to sell things at a lower price than they would otherwise.
- "Psychological Science"

Disgusto Delicacies (7 June)

• Bull Penis - This lip-smacking delicacy is hailed as an aphrodisiac in China.
• Roasted Cicada Larvae - For the most satisfying flavour, larvae must be caught just as they're about to transform. In parts of North America, this year is when periodical cicada nymphs emerge from the ground, which only occurs every 17 years.
• Blood Stew - Known as 'diniguan' in the Philippines, this gourmet treat made from a pig's heart and blood is sometimes called 'Chocolate Pork'.
• Drunken Shrimp - Basically, live shrimp swimming in a bowl of rice wine. Chinese gourmands catch the critters with chopsticks and bite the yummy heads off.
• Dried Purple Seaweed -- Dubbed dulse by Maritimers, this dish gets its flavour from small stones and flotsam entangled in the rotting seaweed.
• Honey Ants - Ants are force-fed honey until they swell to twice their normal size, then are gobbled down by eager Aussies.
• Maggot Cheese - Folks in Sardinia leave cheese out covered with cheesecloth so flies lay their eggs in it, wait for the maggots to hatch, then spread the resulting mess on bread and chow down.
• Potted Hough - Similar to head cheese, which is made from the boiled head of an animal, this Scottish delicacy is made from the other end of the beast, generally a cow.
• Seal Flipper Pie - Newfoundlanders bake the flippers along with diced pork fat and onions.
• Fermented Squid Guts - The Japanese adore this dish, known as 'shiokara'.
• Snake Blood - Harvested from king cobras, this beverage is revered in Thailand for its medicinal powers.
• Stinkheads -- Alaska's Yup'ik people chop the heads off salmon, bury them in the ground for a summer, then dig them up and dig in. Beyond the unique taste, the foul-smelling dish has a hallucinogenic effect.

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