Buzzwords (31 March)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Duppie' - A 'Depressed Urban Professional' stuck in a meaningless job.
• 'Mucus Trooper' - A sick employee who insists on coming in to work.
• 'Butt Call' - An unintended call that's accidentally made by sitting on your cell phone.

Scientists Say (31 March)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...

• Scientists say ... a pregnancy's duration is actually determined at conception.
• Scientists say ... sex stimulates the brain and makes people more intelligent, according to Germany's Hamburg Medical Research Institute.
• Scientists say ... there's evidence of methane gas on Mars, according to researchers monitoring the European Space Agency orbiter 'Mars Express'.
• Scientists say ... women have a better memory for detail than men, according to a research study by the University of Florida.
• Scientists say ... an enzyme extracted from Florida cottonmouth snake venom appears to help launder out stubborn bloodstains on clothing.

Excuses For A Day Off Work (31 March)

In a recent office survey, the most common reasons to get a day off to seek employment elsewhere were 'being sick' and 'having a doctor's appointment'. Coincidently, these are also the excuses most likely to draw a boss's attention. Others that are hard-to-believe - 10% of employers become suspicious of the old 'death of a family member' excuse, and 5% don't believe the 'dental appointment' excuse.
- Fish4jobs survey.

Amazing Facts (31 March)

• "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• The top 3 products for coupon redemption are breakfast cereal, soap and deodorant.
• In the average household, the fridge is opened 20 times per day.

Cockney Rhyming Slang (31 March)

In the part of London that speaks the Cockney dialect, the vocabulary of rhyming slang is constantly evolving. Witness ...

• Sheryl Crow ... Snow ("Wear your rubbers, we've got an inch of Sheryl Crow!")
• Watford Gap ... Crap ("I don't care what you say, that tune's a piece of Watford Gap.")
• Dancing Bears ... Stairs ("I fell down the dancing bears and bonked my noggin.")
• Fat Boy Slim ... Gym ("I'm going to work out at the Fat Boy Slim.")
• George and Zippy ... Nippy or cold. ("It's a bit George and Zippy out there this morning!")
• Mariah Carey ... Scary ("Dawn of the Dead is real Mariah Carey in parts.")
• Liza Minnelli ... Telly or television ("I'm too pooped to go out, what's on the Liza?")
• Uncle Toby ... Moby or mobile phone. ("Get off your Uncle Toby and drive, moron!")
• Marilyn Manson ... Handsome ("Lovely plaid jacket, you're looking Marilyn Manson today.")
• French Egg (un oeuf) ... Enough ("Stop the karaoke, I've had a French egg!")
• Would you Adam and Eve it? ... Would you believe it? ("I've won 5-pound in the lotto, would you Adam and Eve it?")

Strange Tales (30 March)

• The Tota Topete School in Mexico City is offering classes to teach girls how to become - perfect wives. The classes for 13- to 18-year-old girls include lessons on cooking, sewing, ironing, childcare and home decor. A school spokesman says these skills are in danger of being lost as more and more women concentrate on their careers, something that's simply not possible if you are a wife and/or mother.
• Voters in the German village of Ballendorf have been ordered back to the polls after the winning mayoral candidate was found to have bribed them with - free beer and sausages.
• Austrian lung specialist Dr Friedrich Bischinger claims that one of the best ways to stay healthy is to - pick your nose and eat it. It seems snot, which is just dried-up mucus, helps to strengthen the body's immunity.
• A radio DJ in Romania locked himself in the studio and threatened to jump off a balcony if his broadcast was cut off. Alin Farcas of MIX-FM Bucharest told listeners he was holding out for overdue wages - about $425. He lasted 4 hours before cops busted in.

New Disease (30 March)

Researchers say millions of office workers are now suffering from 'Irritable Desk Syndrome'. It seems long work hours, cluttered desks and poor posture are actually making people ill. Some highlights from a new NEC-Mitsubishi office worker poll ...

• 67% say they're more tied to their desks than they were 2 years ago.
• 40% say they're upset by too much clutter on their desks.
• 35% say they suffer from back or neck pain because they knowingly sit in an awkward position.

Today's Firsts… (30 March)

1935 [69] 1st 'Newfie time' as Newfoundland changes zone to 3.5 hours West of Greenwich

The See-Thru Machine (29 March)

Britain's Scotland Yard has deployed its latest weapon in the war on crime - a scanner that can see through clothes! The $200,000, 500-kg (1,110-lb), 2-meter-high (7-foot) device, dubbed simply 'The Machine', uses low radiation X-rays which penetrate one-tenth of an inch into the skin. It was first used in a drug sting operation where suspects had the option of either submitting to a strip search or standing in front of 'The Machine'.
- "The Scotsman"

Theme Rooms (29 March)

A so-called 'love hotel' in Osaka, Japan is celebrating its 5th anniversary by offering special theme rooms for couples. Among them - the 'Romance Retro Room' with WWI-era decor; the 'Egyptian Room', set up to allow patrons to savour the pleasures of the Nile; and the 'KO Room', with a bed in the form of a boxing ring, a ring announcer's microphone, boxing gloves, and a plastic blow-up doll to use as a punching bag. The rooms are available by the night or ... the hour.
For more info check out the Angelo Group website (Note the site is in Japanese).
- "Mainichi Daily News"

Copy Cats (29 March)

California-based Genetic Savings & Clone is offering pet owners the chance to clone their animals. The company already boasts several hundred clients who are banking their pets' genes in the hope of receiving a duplicate pet at a later date. To create a clone, the company takes a swab sample the size of a small coin from the mouth and from the stomach of the pet. Dead animals can be also cloned but only for a short period after death. It ain't cheap - 'Puffy v.2' will set you back about $50,000.
- ABC News Online

Wacky World Of News (29 March)

• The 16 violinists of the Beethoven Orchestra in Bonn, Germany are suing for a wage increase on the grounds that - compared to other orchestra musicians - they play far more notes per concert!
• Hundreds of people have rushed to adopt a homeless kitten at the Garmisch-Partenkirchen Animal Shelter in Germany. What's the big deal? A genetic defect left 6-month-old 'Lilly' with - 4 ears!
• The Ramada Jarvis hotel chain in Scotland has a hit on its hands with its 'Deep-Fried Chocolate Sandwich, Served with Ice Cream and a Sprinkling of Sugar'. The $10 gorge-out now accounts for 30% of all dessert sales.
• Students in Yekaterinburg, Russia have been caught using cockroaches to eat the ink off their report cards. They starve the roaches for a few days, then pour honey over any bad marks on their reports. When the hungry bugs eat the honey, the ink disappears as well!

For The Record (29 March)

25-year-old professional yo-yoer Ben McPhee of Newcastle, Australia has set a new world record for the most yo-yo tricks in a minute - 40 individual tricks including 'walk the dog', 'shoot the moon' and 'three leaf clover'. That beats the previous record by 5.

Q & A (29 March)

Q: What are the only 3 words in English that end in 'gry'?
A: You might have come up with 'hungry' and 'angry' but the third answer is a tad obscure - it's simply 'gry', an archaic word referring to an obsolete unit of measurement.
- "Homemakers"

All-You-Can-Eat Salad Bar (26 March)

A Belgian man has been fined $1000 and had his driver's license suspended 45 days after witnesses saw him crawl out of his car and into a field. When police arrived, he was on his hands and knees, grunting like a pig and munching grass. A test revealed his blood alcohol level was waaaay over the limit. The judge wasn't impressed by his defence - "I like eating grass, especially when I'm drunk. It tastes like spinach."
- Ananova

Things You Shouldn't Say (25 March)

The Plain English Campaign has compiled its 25th annual list of annoying phrases and tired expressions that should be banned from the language, ranked by a survey of 5,000 people in more than 70 countries. Among them ...

   1. 'At the end of the day ...'
   2. [TIE] 'At this moment in time ...' / 'Like ...'
   4. 'With all due respect ...'

Others receiving bad marks - '24/7', 'it's not rocket science', 'thinking outside the box', 'to be perfectly honest', 'pushing the envelope' and 'bottom line'. Formed in 1979, the Plain English Campaign is an independent group that rails against clichés, jargon and obfuscation, particularly in official and public documents.
For more info check out the Plain English website.

New Gizmos & Gadgets (25 March)

• This week at a wireless industry show in Atlanta, Motorola unveiled the first mobile phone that will be usable worldwide, even when roaming between networks that use incompatible standards.
• This month at a bar beverage conference in Vegas, a New York tech company unveiled a system that will project holographic images of beer over a bar. The technology could come to real bars soon, according to "New Scientist".
• University of Nebraska scientist Yiqi Yang has made a sweater from - 3 lbs of corn-husks. He's developed a process to convert husks into fabric in order to increase the value of corn crops to farmers.

Worldwide Roar (25 March)

• An 18-year-old British drug smuggler caught trying to leave Jamaica with 16 kg of marijuana has avoided jail because he's ... er ... she's a - hermaphrodite. Seems Jamaica's penal system has no provisions for someone with both male and female 'characteristics'.
• West Virginia governor Bob Wise has sent a letter to clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch demanding it stop selling T-shirts with the slogan - "It's All Relative in West Virginia".
• Carrying on a century-old tradition, dozens of singles in Bali, Indonesia staged a group kiss this week to ensure good health and to ward off bad luck. But it only lasted 15 seconds before local priests doused them with cold water.
• A man in Gorj, Romania has filed with the consumer affairs ministry, complaining of bad service - from a hooker. Among his beefs - she didn't do her best, she scratched him, and - she was missing a lot of her teeth.
• Avant garde German artist Karl Lentze has written to several zoos asking if they'll feed his body to their piranhas when he dies. So far, no takers.

New English 101 (24 March)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Vice Investing' - A new investment strategy in which one only buys stock in companies that specialize in human vices ... alcohol, tobacco, gambling, weapons, etc. Be sure to ask your stockbroker for vice advice.
• 'Sloops' - Pants for guys with no ass. The Hold Up Suspender Company of Southfield MI has just patented the jeans, tailored to fit men with a flat butt and designed to eliminate 'tenting'.
• 'Sucking Mud' - A computer, network or Web server that has crashed or simply isn't working. The term originated in the oil-drilling industry.

Scientists Say (24 March)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...

• Scientists say ... Teens with high levels of the 'novelty-seeking' trait are more than twice as susceptible to tobacco advertising. University of Pennsylvania scientists say 'novelty-seeking' involves excitement over new experiences, sensation-seeking, impulsive and risk-taking behaviour.
• Scientists say ... People who habitually bite their fingernails are more at risk from lead poisoning. Russian researchers say that lead in the body accumulates in the fingernails and can cause illness in those who often chew on them.
• Scientists say ... Tai Chi really does seem to have health benefits. A review of some 47 independent studies by Tufts-New England Medical Centre finds the traditional Chinese slow-motion martial art appears to improve memory, concentration, digestion, balance and flexibility, and is thought to improve anxiety and depression.

Weapon Of Mass Transportation (24 March)

You've likely seen those odd-looking 2-wheeled 'Segway Human Transporters', right? Well now Off Roads Adventure of Oxford MS has launched a whole line of 'Extreme Segs', customized for various activities. There's even an off-road version (M-167 Stealthy Ground Attack Vehicle) with camo paint-job, a protective metal skid plate and carbide-studded, extra-traction tires.
For more info check out the Off-Roads Adventure website.

Bathroom Facts (24 March)

• The odds of being injured by a toilet seat in your lifetime are 1 in 6,500.
• The Scott Brothers marketed the first successful toilet paper roll in 1867.
• Those little bumpers on the underside of your toilet seat are called 'buculets'.
• Most toilets flush in the key of E-flat, while most electric razors buzz in B-flat.
• The average toilet will last about 50 years before it has to be replaced.
• North Americans use about 5 billion gallons of water flushing toilets each day.
• The average water temperature for showers is 105 F (41 C).
• 7% of us have a radio in the bathroom.
• If you took an average shower this morning, you used about 30 gallons of water (114 litres).
• On average, males spend 11.4 minutes taking a shower. Females take 13 minutes.
• 3% of pet owners wash their pets by showering with them.
• Over 500 North Americans are injured in their bathtubs each day.

Chip Models (23 March)

Beginning in May, Intel will no longer name computer chips by speed (ie: 2.5 GHz) but with a model number, similar to cars. The idea is to direct attention away from speeds and onto unique features that make up a particular processor. Intel chips will now have a 3-digit model number, starting with 3 for low-end chips, 5 for standard performance and 7 for the top-of-the-line models.
- ZDNet

Too Stupid For Us To Make Up: (23 March)

• Virgin Atlantic Airways has scrapped plans to install bright-red urinals shaped like women's open lips in men's rooms at NYC's JFK International Airport, saying it's received feedback they might be taken as offensive.
• A UK supermarket chain went through rigorous quality testing and used a special tasting panel to come up with a new line of BBQ - for dogs. The new canned food contains a blend of pork sausage and mushrooms in a tangy BBQ sauce.

PC Plug-Ins (23 March)

USB ports (Universal Serial Bus) have made it far easier to connect external devices to computers efficiently and quickly, but nobody could have predicted the variety of computer accessories that are now available for plug 'n play ...

• ThinkGeek has released both the 'USB Desk Fan' and the 'USB Ashtray', with a filter to suck away smoke.
• Arvel offers an aromatherapy device called the 'USB Fragrance-Oil Burner'.
• MIB has the 'USB Heating Blanket', perfect for keeping warm during the winter months.
• Among USB devices for data storage there are watches, pens, and a duck - the 'i-Duck' by Solid Alliance which plugs into any USB port to allow 256 MB of extra memory.
• A Japanese company is even offering the 'USB Noodle Cooker'.

Worldwide Roar (22 March)

• Let this be a lesson in giving away prizes people actually want - a 22-year-old woman in Lancashire UK is trying to sell off the $40,000 prize she won in a lingerie company promotion. Why? It's a diamond-encrusted G-string. The jewelled thong is being kept in a bank safe until she finds a buyer.
• Doctors in Germany say a man barely escaped death after he tried to - brush his Rottweiler's teeth. The dog attacked him and he nearly bled to death on the way to hospital.

No More Time-Outs For This Kid (22 March)

The so-called 'terrible twos' just got a lot easier for the D'Onofrio family of Brewster NY. 21-month-old Billy, who loves to push buttons and take things apart, recently popped open the TV remote and pulled out a AAA Duracell battery - worth $100,000! It was one of 12 labelled 'winner' for a promotional campaign. The big-buck battery was a recent replacement for one that Billy had earlier hauled out and tossed in the garbage.
- "Journal News"

Web Goodie (22 March)

"Behind the Name" is a nifty site that offers several functions ...

• Look up the origin of tens of thousands of given names.
• Look up the most popular names by country.
• Use a 'Random Name Generator' in a variety of languages and categories (witch, fairy, Goth, rapper, wrestler, hillbilly, etc).

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (19 March)

The president of Turkmenistan has announced a new law banning men from having messy hair. Long hair, beards and moustaches will no longer be allowed because they are thought to be unhygienic and give outsiders a poor impression of the country. And just in case you're planning a Turkmenistani tour anytime soon - the law also applies to foreigners.
- "The Times of Central Asia"

Is There Still A Toothpick? (19 March)

This week at a German technology fair, the makers of the famous Swiss Army Knife unveiled a new version with - a 'memory key' that plugs into computers. The "Memory USB" army knife includes a 64MB or 128MB flash memory stick on which you can store data such as presentations or databases for easy transport. There's also a new Swiss Army Knife especially designed for air travel - it has no blades. Victorinox offers about 35 mechanical tools on its various knives and a spokesman says (a bit obviously) that it's becoming increasingly difficult to come up with new ones.
- "Swiss Info"

Wads Of Fun (18 March)

Today the city-state of Singapore will lift its infamous 12-year ban on chewing gum, but only on nicotine gum for smokers trying to quit. Pfizer, the pharmaceutical giant that makes 'Nicorette', has sent some of its senior execs to officially launch the product.

Mob Outsourcing (18 March)

Didn't we see this on "The Sopranos"? Reports say the struggling Mafia in the US is now recruiting Sicilian mobsters, believing the homeland's hard-headed gangsters are more likely to keep their mouths shut. Authorities worry that the Sicilian Mafia -- known in the past for gunning down police and blowing up judges - might bring violent tactics to the US.

From The Poll Vault (18 March)

• 25% of women are dissatisfied by the size of their posterior.
• 30% of us are much less fearful of visiting the dentist if we're put under general anaesthesia.
• 30% of men pick their spouse as 'the nicest person they know', compared to just 17% of women.
• 44% of women say they're happy with their number of sexual experiences. Only 7% wish they had more.
• 45% of couples say they'd use their spouse's toothbrush without giving it a second thought.
• 86% of us believe governments are addicted to gambling revenues.

Jobs Redefined (18 March)

• 'Information Choreographer' ... librarian.
• 'Media Distribution Operative' ... newspaper deliverer.
• 'Gostopologist' ... in charge of the 'Stop/Go' sign at road construction site.
• 'Suctional Engineer' ... carpet cleaner.
• 'Destination Counselor' ... travel agent.
• 'Hygiene Technician' ... cleaning staff.
• 'Independent Management Consultant' ... unemployed.

New English 101 (17 March)

• 'Hyperdating' - Dating a lot of different people over a short period of time. ("I can't remember if it was a Todd or a Tyler I went out with Saturday night ... I've been hyperdating.")
• 'Menopot' - The layer of fat around the abdomen that some women develop after going through menopause. ("They make maternity pants, why not menopot jeans?")
• 'Atkins Attitude' - Anger, irritability or depression experienced by people on low-carb diets such as Atkins or the South Beach Diet. "Psychology Today" says the syndrome doesn't affect all adherents. Some dieters report an improved attitude. ("Stay away from Steve, he had an attack of Atkins Attitude when he saw my hot dog bun in the lunchroom.")

Secret Code (17 March)

Today's hi-tech vehicles are causing headaches for mechanics. In order to diagnose and fix late model cars, a special computer code is needed - and automakers aren't handing that info out. More often than not, the code is in a language understood only by auto manufacturers, and that gives their dealers a monopoly on servicing their make of vehicles. Even locksmiths are annoyed because the keys to some cars now contain computer chips, and to replace them a locksmith needs the correct code. The problem may lead to new laws that require automakers to provide computer codes to anyone who needs them.
- "Seattle Post-Intelligencer"

Safety Net (17 March)

The European Commission is investing 50 million euros (over $80 million CDN) in an attempt to clean up the Internet with a 3-year program called 'Safer Internet Plus'. The plan has 4 goals ...

• To establish hotlines for the public to report illegal content, ie: child porn.
• To develop ratings for content that provide benchmarks for filtering software.
• To raise awareness among parents and teachers of the tools available to protect children online.
• To encourage self-regulation to deal with unwanted and harmful content, including spam.

Worldwide Roar (17 March)

• A Chinese couple who took their 13-year-old daughter to hospital suffering from 'a reaction in the lower half of the body' have found out the problem - she's a boy. The parents from Zhengzhou were apparently fooled by their child's underdeveloped sexual organs, dressing him in girl's clothes and teaching him to go to the women's washroom. They did not realize anything was wrong until the teen got 'excited' watching pretty women on TV.
• A 25-year-old man has become a tourist attraction in the Dominican Republic after admitting himself into a hospital - with a 6-day erection. Staffers at the hospital in Villa Gonzalez said nurses, doctors and members of the public turned up for a glimpse at the poor guy's predicament. Specialists think he may be suffering from a rare form of anemia that causes long-term erections.
• A competition has been held in Bangkok to find the strongest transvestite in Thailand. The event called Kratoy Ud ('Tough Transvestite') attracted dozens of entrants. Each contestant had to take part in 5 events - carrying a 50-kilo sack of rice, kicking down a banana palm, husking a coconut, arm wrestling and carrying buckets of water.

'Name That Phobia' (16 March)

Well I've decided to air this one from the vaults, as it seems like some very useless info...

• Chorophobia [CORE-o-phobia] ... fear of DANCE, romance, or pants?
• Alektorophobia [a-LECK-tro-phobia] ... fear of eggs, CHICKENS, or soup?
• Phalacrophobia [fall-A-kra-phobia] ... fear of money, honey, or BECOMING BALD?
• Barophobia [BAR-o-phobia] ... fear of GRAVITY, fences, or nightclubs?
• Cyberphobia [SIGH-ber-phobia] ... fear of scooters, Hooters, or COMPUTERS?
• Pentheraphobia [pen-TAIR-uh-phobia] ... fear of having huge thighs, fear of confrontation, or fear of your MOTHER-IN-LAW?

This Bot Blows (16 March)

A trumpet-playing robot has made its musical debut in Japan, playing a rendition of "When You Wish Upon A Star". The unnamed humanoid has a functioning lung and mechanical lips that allow it to blow the instrument, and dexterous fingers to pick out the correct notes. Car-maker Toyota says the 4-foot-tall bot was created using technology developed over the years for industrial robots at its factories.
- Ananova

Feathered Critics (15 March)

Researchers at Tokyo's Keio University have taught pigeons to distinguish between styles of art. Psychologist Shigeru Watanabe reports the birds can correctly distinguish between cubist-style painting and impressionism 90% of the time.
- "Discovery"

Is That A Wall Or The Yang 'Tse? (15 March)

For decades, elementary school textbooks have maintained that the Great Wall of China could be seen from space, but now even China admits that's just not so. It was verified by China's first person in space, astronaut Yang Liwei, who says he was unable to see the Wall at any time while orbiting the Earth for over 21 hours. His eyewitness view has prompted China's Ministry of Education to revise its claim.
- BBC World News

Maybe It's Because You're Tipping The Glass? (15 March)

A new experiment by chemists from Stanford University & the University of Edinburgh has attempted to answer the perplexing question - can beer bubbles go down instead of up? The bubbles are lighter than the beer so they should rise upward, but claims by countless drinkers that the reverse was true caused the scientists to investigate. The answer? Surprisingly simple - bubbles go up more easily in the center of a beer glass than on the sides because of drag from the walls. As they go up, they lift some of the beer, which then runs down the inside walls of the glass, carrying bubbles with it - downward.
- "EurekAlert"

Honest, I'm Still At Work, Honey (12 March)

An enterprising German company has come with 'Sound Cover', a sound alibi generator that creates background noises that can be downloaded to your cellphone to simulate the environment where you are supposed to be. The sound menu includes a traffic jam, road construction, a circus parade, a dentist office, and the ring of another phone so you can get rid of unwanted callers by telling them you're needed on your land-line. First versions of the product will work on selected Nokia phones.
For more info check out the Simeda website.
- "New Scientist"

Too Stupid For Us To Make Up (12 March)

• A Welsh firm has come up with a way to get men to do the ironing. It's marketing ironing board covers that feature a picture of buxom British model Jordan in a bikini. The bikini disappears as the cover heats up.
• A German Theatre Company staging a play about a polar explorer who froze to death is really going for realism - holding the production in a large freezer that's kept at -11 degrees. Patrons are given thermal sleeping bags to keep them warm through the 1-hour show.
• Russian spacecraft designer Alexander Lavrynov has patented a device for putting ads in space that could be seen from Earth. The satellites would be visible in the night sky by employing sunlight reflectors, with multiple satellites linked together to create a message large enough to be seen.

Millionaire Shops At Wal-Mart (11 March)

35-year-old Alice Pike has been arrested in Covington GA for attempting to pass a bogus bill at a Wal-Mart store - a one-million-dollar bill! At first she claimed her husband had given her the funny money, but was later found to have 2 more million-buck bills in her purse. She had been attempting to pay for $1,671.55 worth of merchandise.
- The Smoking Gun

Ah, Another Good Excuse! (11 March)

Household chores such as dusting can increase your body's exposure to pollution particles. A new study shows that just by vacuuming a rug, you may be inhaling tiny dust particles that could be harmful to your health.
- "Environmental Science & Technology"

Weird World Of News (11 March)

• A German court has rejected an unemployed man's demand for 4 government-paid brothel visits a month to ensure his 'health and bodily well-being' while his wife is traveling abroad.
• Albanians are reporting that they're increasingly finding more and more yolk-less eggs. A University of Bari researcher thinks it happens when chickens are driven to produce too many eggs.
• In Switzerland, corporate logos and slogans are being painted on cows' bodies before they're released into pastures. The founder of the 'Cow Placard Company' says he hopes the idea will boost the rural economy.
• An anti-pornography bill currently being debated in Indonesia's parliament includes sentences of up to 5 years in jail - for kissing on the mouth in public.
• A Japanese inventor has developed a jacket with a pocket alarm. Say you're in the crowded Tokyo subway and someone tries to pick your pocket - Wirp! Wirp! Wirp! - the alarm goes off.
• A man in China has had 3 sewing needles removed that were embedded for almost 29 years - in his brain! Doctors believe the needles were jabbed into his head when he was just a few months old and his skull was still soft.

And We Quote (11 March)

• "I ain't into faggots. I don't like gay people around me, because I'm not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I'm not prejudiced. I just don't go with gay people and kick it - we don't have that much in common. I'd rather hang out with some straight dude. But women who like women, that's cool. I could actually get into that, having a woman who likes women, too. We might have more in common." - 50 Cent waxing philosophic in "Playboy" magazine.

Buzzwords (10 March)

• 'Offshorable' - A job that's capable of being performed by a person in another country ... at a lower wage. ("All our tech support jobs are offshorable. We can have people in India keep our customers on hold much cheaper.")
• 'Broccoflower' - A cross between broccoli and cauliflower that can range in color from lime-green to yellow-green to purple. Usually smaller, lighter, and less crisp and dense than white cauliflower. Most importantly, it's also less expensive. ("But mom, I don't like broccoli!" "It isn't broccoli." "But mom, I don't like cauliflower!" "It isn't cauliflower.")
• 'Tunnel Ads' - Advertising on a series of illuminated screens in subway tunnels, each showing one image from a sequence, thereby creating an animation effect as the train goes by. Now being tested in Atlanta, NYC, Athens and Seoul. (Until it causes an epidemic of epileptic seizures.)

You've Got Spam! (10 March)

There's a restaurant in the Philippines that specializes - in Spam. Located in an upscale shopping mall in a financial district, 'Spamjam' has been a rousing success ever since opening in DECEMBER. The menu includes a Spam sandwich, Spam club sandwich, Spam spaghetti, Spam macaroni, Spam potato chowder, bean soup with Spam, Spam Caesar salad, Spam poppers, and Spam meals with rice for the Filipino palate.
- ABC News Online

Boing Boing (10 March)

Eccentric Australian Steven Whitmore, who describes himself as an inventor and artist, thinks he's come up with the next big thing - being strapped inside a huge plastic ball and then pushed out of an airplane. The days of bungee jumping will be over, he claims, when people catch on to his 'Amazing Flying Ball'. While he'll soon exhibit his plans for the flying ball in an art gallery, he admits the idea still needs a lot of research and development.
- "The Tasmanian"

No Bones About It (9 March)

The infamous and oh-so-exclusive 'Skull and Bones' secret society at Yale University has very strict rules regarding discussion of the club. Even if its name is mentioned in mixed company, members of the society are required immediately to leave the room. So that brings up this quandary - as Yale alumni George W Bush and John Kerry were both invited to become Bonesmen during their university careers, how will they handle mention of the name when it comes up during presidential debates? And you know it will!
- "NY Post"

What's In A Name? (8 March)

What's the oddest given name you've heard of parents burdening a kid with? A German court has just ruled that parents do not have the right to give their child a silly name after a woman tried to tag her son 'Chenekwahow Tecumseh Migiskau Kioma Ernesto Inti Prithibi Pathar Chajara Majim Henriko Alessandro'. Offbeat baby names were really popular 30 years ago - rocker David Bowie's son 'Zowie' now calls himself 'Joe'. Actors David Carradine & Barbara Hershey anointed their son 'Free', but he now goes by the name 'Tom'. And then there's actor Elliot Gould - he named his son 'Bazooka Sam' ... after the bubble gum.
- "Independent on Sunday"

Hot Ways To Be Cool (8 March)

Trend trackers say that former Eastern Bloc countries, Hungary in particular, are creating a fashion stir with retro sportswear. Also predicted to be hot in '04 - the 'rockabilly' look, so throw out those trucker hats and get ready to dress like a kitschy cowboy.
- "Sunday Mail"

Scientists Say (5 March)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' -

• Scientists say ... the average person gains a pound a year between ages 25 and 55. People who tend to be heavy gain even more. A Duke University physiologist says not to get depressed if you rigorously exercise but don't lose any weight. Because if you also don't gain any - that's real success!
• Scientists say ... the strain on family relationships caused by kid's homework often outweighs any educational benefit. A London University study looked at 75 years of research on homework in the UK, North America and Australia. The bottom line - homework is better done in groups outside the home.
• Scientists say ... losing your temper can kill you. At least, if you're a guy. A 10-year study has found that hot-headed men have a 20% higher risk of developing an irregular heartbeat that can lead to sudden death. For some unknown reason, the risk does not affect women.
• Scientists say ... cell phones are a hazardous waste. In fact, a new University of Florida environmental study reveals that many of today's techno-gizmos release enough lead in lab tests to be classified as hazardous. So the problem becomes - how to dispose of them?

It's A Wack World (5 March)

• A 20-year-old bride-to-be in Arbroath, Scotland was 8 months' pregnant when her 28-year-old fiancé ditched her - 4 days before the wedding. But when an 18-year-old ex-boyfriend heard about it, he stepped forward to ask if she'd marry him instead ... and they all lived happily ever after.
• Residents of West Danville, Vermont are gearing up for an annual rite of spring - the 17th annual "Joe's Pond Ice Out". People enter a pool on when the ice on the local pond will start to melt. Closest guess wins half the money raised. Last year, the ice gave way April 28.
• A 32-year-old Assen, Netherlands man has been convicted of a criminal offence - for carrying 2 pieces of veal to the checkout in his hand. A judge ruled he had technically been 'trespassing' since he ignored the store's compulsory shopping basket policy. Then he fined him $250!
• An Evansville, Indiana father facing drug charges is arguing that police made an unconstitutional search. Seems a trooper changed his infant son's soiled diaper - and found a bag of crack hidden inside.
• A Brit couple watching a TV documentary were shocked to discover that their house was once the scene of a grisly murder - and some of the body parts were never found! They quickly sold the joint at a big loss, and then sued the previous owners for not disclosing the home's history. Alas, their claim has just been rejected by a UK Court of Appeal.

Hey Look, I'm On TV! (4 March)

This is such an obvious idea, why didn't someone think of it earlier? Philips Electronics is set to market a TV set that becomes a mirror when it's turned off. The MiraVision 2500 wide-screen LCD is covered with a thin semi-reflective film, mounted in a picture frame. When the screen is switched on, it's a regular TV. When it's off, the surface behaves like an ordinary mirror. But what if you want to watch some tube while brushing your hair? Then you can select 'picture-in-mirror' mode, which displays a small TV image in the corner!
Source: "New Scientist"

Say What? (4 March)

Asian manufacturers have found that consumers thinks it's cool to have clothing with English slogans - even if they don't make any sense. Actual slogans recently spotted ...

• "Socks For Street - Please Take Pleasure in Street Taste."
• "Fight Peaceful!"
• "You Are the Young and the Hopeless"
• "Plant With Too Much Power"
• "Swarms of Winter Gnats Are Still Around"
• "Toilet Love!"

Buzzwords (3 March)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Sexiles' - People wandering around aimlessly because they've been booted out of their residences by roommates who want privacy to 'get friendly' with someone they just met. A common on-campus problem.
• 'Latchkey Dog' - A dog that's either left alone in the house all day or allowed to roam the streets on its own while its owners are at work.
• 'Supercentenarian' - A person at least 110-years-old. The National Institute on Aging predicts a growing number of people will join the club over the next few years, thanks to medical advances and healthy lifestyles.

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Iceberg (2 March)

Several years ago, South African millionaire Sarel Gous hatched a seemingly unlikely plan to build a $650-million replica of the ill-fated "Titanic" luxury liner which sank in 1912. He even held discussions with the Harland & Wolff shipyard in Belfast where the original was built. At 1,115 feet, 'Titanic II' was designed to be 230 feet longer than the original but with the same decor. Gous and investors have so far blown $800,000 on R&D, but so far - no ship.
Sources: "Maxim" magazine.

Breathalyser Replacement? (1 March)

Swiss scientists can now tell the difference between light and heavy drinkers simply by looking at hair samples. Four fatty acid 'ethyl esters' appear in the blood 12 to 18 hours after someone drinks alcohol and they are stored in hair. The only way to remove the evidence of drinking, says University of Basel researcher Frederich Wurst, is to shave off all body hair.
Source: "New Scientist"

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