Worldwide Roar (27 February)

• A drag queen has been given an honorary professorship at Germany's University of Hamburg.
  Oliver Knoebel, better known locally as drag queen 'Olivia Jones', will join the school's faculty for Gender Studies to teach - 'Queer Theory' (aka 'Interior Design 101').
• A candidate for European Parliament has announced her platform - in the nude. 30-year-old Budapest TV host Anettka Feher wore nothing but jewellery as she went on Hungarian TV and told viewers they should support her because - aside from being a babe - she's smart.
• An Austrian catering company that provides music, lighting, DJs, karaoke equipment and special effects for parties is now offering a unique new service - guests for rent. Hosts can chose from a wide range of attractive guests who are guaranteed to keep the party lively - at $30 apiece. (Wow, it's 'Rent-A-Friend'!)
• A Croatian man has been blasted off his feet and nearly electrocuted by an electrified fence. Seems 57-year-old Malcolm Jones reached down to pet his whining dog - who was peeing on the fence at the time. Miraculously, both master and pooch are fine.

High-Paid Parking (26 February)

A parking space in a Central London underground garage near the famous Harrods department store is up for sale - at $187,500 - thought to be the most expensive parking spot in the UK. One indication of the desperate parking shortage in London: another space was purchased by a mother for her 3-year-old son - for when he's old enough to drive. Now that's planning ahead!
Source: Reuters

No Goo In Your Pocket (26 February)

Some classmates at a Welsh high school have developed un-meltable chocolate for British troops serving in Iraq. The 4 Afon Taf High School students came up with the idea after they heard that chocolate treats sent to soldiers by their families were melting before they could be eaten. The secret to the recipe for heat-resistant chocolate is adding glycerine to the mix. For their efforts in the kitchen, the students have won an award at a national science contest.
Source: BBC World Edition

English 101 (25 February)

New terms for '04 ...

• 'Performance Underwear' - A trendy new term that attempts to make 'long-johns' sound hi-tech. Today's long underwear or 'base layer' uses technologically advanced fibers to wick moisture away from your body. Some brands are infused with anti-bacterial properties so they don't stink after you've worked up a sweat. (Great, but do they have a trapdoor?)
• 'Blinglish' - The Brit version of 'Ebonics', a hybrid blend of English and rap terminology, often used by so-called 'wiggers' - white people trying to act black in order to be cool. (For more info, look up 'Timberlake'.)
• 'Low-Carb Draft' - With so many people trying the carb-free Atkins Diet (from which they'll all likely develop an obscure new body malfunction and die painfully), it was only a matter of time until the fad hit the beer market. Labatt Sterling was one of the first brands. Michelob Ultra, a high-protein, low-carb beer, is currently being test-marketed. In general, an average beer contains 13 to 15 grams of carbohydrates per 12 oz, 'light' beers falling between 5 and 7 grams.

007 Is Interested (25 February)

Next month at the 'Geneva Auto Show', Swiss designer Frank Rinderknecht's 2-seater 'Splash' will be unveiled - a car that drives up to 125 mph on land, sails up to 50 mph across water, and also flies through the air! It looks like a normal sports car, but can be driven right into water and used as a boat, and at the flick of a switch wings can be activated so the vehicle rises out of the water and skims along about 2 feet above it like a hydrofoil. Don't expect to lay your hands on one anytime soon - the prototype alone cost over $1.3 million to build.

Amazing Fact (25 February)

13th-century British mathematician and scientist Roger Bacon contended that inhaling the breath of young virgins could rejuvenate elderly men.

For The Record (24 February)

• University of California-Davis student Dan Meyer has claimed the world record for 'longest paperclip chain made by an individual in 24 hours' after linking some 40,000 into a 5,340-foot chain. That beats the previous world record by almost 2,500 feet. To complete it, he averaged 1 paperclip every 1.6 seconds.
• British deep sea diver Lloyd Scott has become the first to watch a DVD while fully submerged underwater. The stunt was pulled off using an 6-by-8-foot screen in a tank at the London Aquarium where he watched - "Finding Nemo", of course.

Wild World Of News (20 February)

• A study of the world's most secure places by science magazine "Focus" finds that the presidential plane Air Force One and the bank vault at Fort Knox are among the tops, along with - a parking lot in Derby, England. The lot has video cameras, panic buttons, special entry doors and bar-coded tickets. It hasn't had a single break-in or act of vandalism in its 6-year history.
• Before leaving on vacation, a Howard, Wisconsin man put his 3 handguns and all his ammo in the oven in case someone broke in while he and his wife were away. After returning from their trip this week - you guessed it - the wife turned on the oven to make dinner, the bullets ignited, and all hell broke loose. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
• Looking to get away from it all ... permanently? "Zoo Weekly" magazine is offering readers the chance to win a holiday with a difference - the winner will spend 2 weeks with a tribe in Papua New Guinea without maps, phones or any other luxuries. The bad news is - the Korowai tribe are cannibals. The tour guide promises nobody will be eaten ... honest.
• A 37-year-old Swedish hockey goalie has won a court case asking for compensation due to a work-related injury. The 'injury'? Anders Bogsjo claims the Elfsborg team dumped him after 7 years - because his voice had become hoarse from yelling directions at his team mates.

Wacked Laws (20 February)

• In Beaconsfield QC, it is considered an offence to have more than 2 materials on the outside of one's house.
• In London, England it's illegal to make love on a parked motorcycle.
• In Devon, Connecticut it is illegal to walk backwards after sunset.
• It is illegal to kiss on railways in France.
• In Denmark no one may start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle.
• A man can be arrested for wearing a skirt in Italy.
• In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 pm if you live in an apartment.
• In Bloemfontein, South Africa young people wearing bathing suits are prohibited from sitting less than 12 inches apart.
• Picking one's nose on the Sabbath is illegal in Israel.

Mind @ Work (19 February)

Here's a brain buster - what do you call that little 'a' with a circle surrounding it that means 'at' in e-mail addresses? In English, it's most commonly referred to simply as the 'at symbol' or 'atmark' because there is no official name. But other languages offer more imaginative names - in Sweden it's called 'snabel-a' (an 'a' with an elephant's trunk), in Germany a 'klammerraffe' (clinging monkey), in Russia it's a dog, in Israel a strudel, in Czech Republic a 'zavinac' (rolled pickled herring), in Italy a 'chiocciola' (snail), similarly in France 'petit escargot' (little snail), in Finland a mouse's tail, in Hungary a 'kukatsz' (little worm), and in Greece it's known as a little duck. Wow, we need a better English word! Suggestions? An 'atpersand'? An 'e-snail'?
Source: "Guardian Unlimited"

Triple 'Duh' Score (19 February)

Later this year, the new edition of "The Scrabble Players Dictionary" will be published. The revision committee expects about 8,500 new words to be added, including 'upsadaisy', 'duh', and the obscure but Scrabble-valuable words 'qi' (of Chinese origin meaning 'vital energy') and 'za' (an old name for b-flat, the 7th harmonic).
Source: Newhouse News

Amazing Fact (19 February)

• 91% of actors polled say they'd sleep with someone in order to get a job.
• The first toothpaste was invented about 4,000 years ago and consisted of a highly abrasive combination of pumice stone and wine vinegar - brushed on with a stick.

Buzzwords (18 February)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Job Spill' - Work or work-related tasks that carry over into personal time. ("Sorry I can't go bowling tonight, I've got to clean up some job spill before tomorrow morning.")
• 'SPoD' (for 'Spinning Pizza of Death') - The Apple equivalent of the Windows hourglass icon that indicates that the computer is working and working and working ... while you're waiting and waiting and waiting. ("I'll have that data for you shortly. Right now I'm staring at the SPoD.")
• 'Retrosexual' - The exact opposite of the recently much-talked-about 'metrosexual', this is a hetero male with an undeveloped aesthetic sense who spends as little time and money as possible on his appearance and lifestyle. (In other words, a regular guy.)

Scientists Say (18 February)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...

• Scientists say ... that two-thirds of adults tilt their heads to the right when they kiss. We owe this valuable knowledge to a researcher in Germany.
• Scientists say ... that a happy marriage may be determined by a couple's genes. A study found that identical brothers, who share the same genes, are much more likely to follow the same patterns of marriage and divorce than other siblings. This suggests the success of a marriage could be more a result of genetics than effort.
• Scientists say that ... men get dumber as they get older. Research presented to the American Association for the Advancement of Science shows that men lose large chunks of brain cells and several points of IQ between the ages of 18 and 50.
• Scientists say ... sex with a younger woman may take more energy than some men have. A study published in the "Heart Trouble Encyclopaedia" shows the risk of heart attack is far greater for men during extra-marital affairs.

Having A Snort (18 February)

A new vaporizer called the 'Alcohol Without Liquid' ('AWOL') allows users to inhale alcohol - literally. The gizmo enables drinks such as vodka and absinthe to be 'snorted' into the nose or inhaled into the mouth through a tube. Its inventor, Dominic Simler of London ENG, claims his gadget is calorie-free and reduces the effects of a hangover. The good news is, the booze works much quicker as alcohol is directly absorbed through blood vessels in the nose or lungs - thus bypassing any damage to the stomach and liver. The bad news is, some medical experts think there's potential for brain damage. Either way you aren't likely to get very drunk - it takes about an hour to inhale one shot of alcohol.
Source: PA News

Stand By Your Bird (17 February)

"Science News" notes that only a minority of animals 'divorce' ... because only a few are monogamous to begin with. Only about 5% of mammals pick a life-mate, as well as 9,000 bird species. The most loyal - Australian Ravens and the Waved Albatross. The human divorce rate compares closest to the 'Masked Booby'.

Really Bad Hair Days (16 February)

Ancient Romans went to great lengths to keep looking young and beautiful like their gods and goddesses. They plastered their heads with herbs and earthworms to keep grey hairs away. To prevent baldness, they wore a paste made of bear grease and myrtle berries. (So cheer up, your 'frizzies' and 'split ends' aren't so bad!)

Amazing Facts (16 February)

• The screw-top cap on most brands of vanilla extract equals one teaspoon. When in a hurry baking something, the cap can be used to measure.
• The city of 'San Juan' used to be known as 'Puerto Rico' (which means 'rich port' in Spanish), while the island of 'Puerto Rico' was originally named 'San Juan'.

Friday The 13th Facts (13 February)

• Fear of Friday the 13th is officially known as 'paraskevidekatriaphobia'.
• Superstition buffs say the origin of the fear of the number 13 is in the Bible - the 'Last Supper' for 13 people, before the crucifixion on a Friday.
• An old adage says that if 13 people sit down to dinner together, all will die within the year. It's also said if you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck.
• The ancient Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary.
• And have you noticed? Most buildings lack a 13th floor, most airplanes lack a 13th row, many cities don't have a 13th street or avenue. And - oooh scary! - there are 13 witches in a coven.
• One traffic study found that the number of hospital admissions due to vehicular accidents increases by as much as 52% on Friday the 13th as compared to other Fridays. (Most likely due to drivers distracted by paranoia over bad luck.)
• Is Friday the 13th really unlucky? Researchers say the idea may be self-perpetuating - people have been told it will be a bad day, so they selectively remember all the bad events that occur throughout the day. Oh by the way - if you were born on this day, then Friday the 13th is considered to be your lucky day!

Get A Different Name Day (13 February)

Today is "Get A Different Name Day", set aside to give us opportunity to pick one we'd really like. Find listeners with really odd names and ask them what nickname they'd like to be called. Or find them a cool new name at the 'Baby Namer' website.

Wide World Of News (12 February)

• A Brazilian samba school is dedicating a section of its parade at the upcoming Rio Carnival to overweight folks. The Sao Clemente samba school says it wants to break the carnival's 'thin body dictatorship'. Organizer Milton Cunha says, "This is the real Brazil, full of volume!"
• The bride wore black! A 35-year-old woman in Nice, France has married her dead boyfriend, thereby becoming both a bride and a widow simultaneously. Under French law, such a marriage is legal provided paperwork had previously been completed proving the couple planned to wed. In case you're wondering - the stiff did not attend the ceremony.
• The bride wore bark! In hopes of pleasing the god of rain, hundreds of people in India have attended a wedding between - two trees. A Hindu cleric tied a knot on a neem tree (the bride) to mark its union with a peepul tree (the groom). Guests were invited to a feast afterward.
• China has ordered a crackdown on food ingredient makers after it was discovered one manufacturer has been illegally producing a base for soy sauce made from - human hair.
• This week a 60-cm (2-ft) wobbegong shark latched onto the leg of an Australian who was swimming near Caves Beach. Unbelievably, the guy made it to his car and drove off to get treatment - with the shark still attached to his leg!

Buzzwords (11 February)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Blanks' - Eyewear worn as a fashion statement by people who don't need any visual correction. It seems trendy types are looking for fashionable frames to enhance ensembles.
• 'Imaginary Girlfriend' or 'Boyfriend' - A new sensation on eBay whereby people agree to act like your partner - for a fee. Services offered include digital pictures, regular e-mails, Valentine's gifts, even 'hot & naughty letters'. The idea is to either make a real partner jealous or fool your friends and/or co-workers that you actually have a love life.
• 'Cyber-balkanization' - A result of the Internet bringing together narrowly-focused, like-minded individuals who increasingly know more and more about less and less. Basically, online narrow-mindedness.

Scientists Say (11 February)

A compendium of recent 'discoveries' ...

• Scientists say that ... men that have had a sex change also lower their chances of heart disease.
• Scientists say that ... the richer a man is, the more likely he is to find a woman who wants to marry him. The shocking study has been published in the new issue of "Demographics" magazine.
• Scientists say that ... they hope to launch 15 'mouse-tronauts' into orbit sometime in 2006 for a 5-week experiment. US and Australian university space researchers hope the mouse mission will provide insight for planning a human journey to Mars.
• Scientists say that ... eating while lying down is worse for you than eating in a sitting position.

Taking A Stance Against Trousers (10 February)

Was Sting's get-up at the Grammys part of the 'man skirt' movement ... or was he just still in his bathrobe when his curtain call came? About 100 men in skirts paraded in NYC on the weekend, calling for an end to the 'Tyranny of Trousers'. The so-called 'Bravehearts' want men to have the right to wear skirts, an idea that's spreading in the UK, throughout Europe, and now in North America. They're promoting what are called 'Male Unbifurcated Garments' ('MUGs' for short), skirt-like garments specifically designed and intended for men, that come in several forms - kilts, sarongs, caftans and mannerrocks (German for 'mens skirt'). French designer Jean Paul Gaultier, who created his first skirt for gentlemen back in 1984, is the fashion industry's most stubborn advocate of men escaping the tyranny of trousers. But do most men really think that they are suffering from 'fashion bondage'? And is this the time of year to be wearing a skirt?
For more info check out the Kilt Men website.

Italian Joe (10 February)

Who drinks the most java? Perhaps not surprisingly, a coffee survey shows that more than 70 million cups of espresso are gulped down in Italy's 110,000 coffee bars each day. That's about 600 shots per person per year, the highest espresso consumption in the world. 80% of Italians say a morning trip to their local coffee bar is a 'necessity', men 35-54 being the most dedicated. 74% of Italians prefer straight-up espresso, 10% opt for 'macchiato' (with a hint of milk), and 8% go for 'ristretto' - a very small, but extremely strong jolt of caffeine.
Source: ABC News

From The Poll Vault (10 February)

• A poll of 25,000 people finds that about 28% are trying to lose weight most of the time.
• An IKEA poll finds that couples who have the most sex usually have their bed near a window.
• A match.com poll reveals that 90% of respondents think couples who meet in coffee houses last longer than those who meet in bars.
• A National Confectioners Association poll finds 'Luv U Always' is the most popular message on those little candy hearts for Valentine's Day.

Amazing Facts (10 February)

• Janet Jackson's right breast has become the most-searched image in Internet history.
• A new credit card poll finds that men plan to spend about 4 times as much as women on Valentine's Day loot this year.
• Afghanistan is now producing 9 times the quantity of drugs it did while under the Taliban.

Hit After Hit (9 February)

A group of Russian entrepreneurs is marketing an MP3 player on the Internet that can be attached to - an AK-47 assault rifle. The so-called 'AK-MP3' player is built into an ammunition clip and can be swapped out with a real magazine carrying bullets. It comes with enough storage space for 9,000 tunes. A spokesman for the company says the oddball device will contribute to world peace if terrorists use their Kalashnikovs to listen to music instead of creating havoc at 600 rounds-per-minute. The accessory costs circa $350.
Source: "Ananova"

Amazing Facts (9 February)

• A 3-decade Mayo Clinic study has found that optimistic people live about 19% longer than pessimists.
• Stanford University exercise expert Dr William Haskell has calculated that using e-mail for just 5 minutes per hour at work will add a pound a year to your weight.

Something Else To Do When You're Drunk (6 February)

If you thought karaoke was bad, now computer games company Fooseoke is marketing a CD-ROM game called "Movie Karoaoke" to enable people to act out the dialogue from films. Like karaoke, the onscreen script is highlighted. You speak the lines into a mike and the program synchs them with the actors. The first movie offered is "American Pie", from which "Movie Karoaoke" features some 17 scenes.
Source: "Times of London"

Worldwide Roar (6 February)

• The first passenger train to cross Australia from south to north arrived in Darwin this week to be welcomed by some 60 locals saluting in a 'mass moon' - women flashing their boobs and men baring their butts. Not the reception expected by dozens of 'dignitaries' onboard.
• Bercy, a 4-year-old goldfish, was ejected from his fish tank when the car he was in crashed in Leicestershire, England. As paramedics treated the owner for neck and arm injuries, police officers found the fish lying nearby. They threw him in a cup of water and - amazingly - Bercy started to swim around!
• German and Swiss engineers, finally connecting their respective sections of the new Upper Rhine Bridge in Laufenberg, Germany have discovered that one half has been built 54 cm (21 inches) lower than the other. Massive reconstruction is now required.
• A California massage therapist has been flown to India to help a group of - stressed-out elephants. Elke Riesterer is using reflexology and other techniques on the big guys' feet, then rubbing their tails and trunks. She says the animals are 'far too tense'.
• A 75-year-old man in Nepal has married - a dog. According to local custom, an old man who regrows teeth must take a dog as a bride to ensure good luck. Didn't work this time. He died 3 days later.

Virtual Fashion (5 February)

South Korean researchers have developed new software that designs clothes by allowing existing patterns to 'mate' and produce offspring clothes. That would allow anyone with a computer to create their own designs.

Shift & Enter Retirement (5 February)

Dave Bradley, the IBM electrical engineer who invented the 'Control-Alt-Delete' function for computers, has retired at age 55. He devised the short-cut combination back in 1981 as a method to restart frozen computers. The term 'Control-Alt-Delete' has since inspired stage plays, cartoons, even a line of furniture. Bradley says he doesn't consider leaving the company a retirement - just a 'reboot'.
Source: "Los Angeles Times"

For The Record (4 February)

• In Australia, a newspaper golf reporter calling himself 'Rusty Gate' has begun an attempt to break the world record for the most golf holes played in 7 days - 1,728 holes played in 2002 by another Australian, Jeff Garland. Gate began playing yesterday and will continue duffing from 5am to 1am daily. He only gets 4 hours off to shower and rest each day. At least he gets to use a golf cart.
  Source: "Tenterfield Star"
  For more info check out the Tenterfield Star website.
• A chilli-eating contest in Thailand got a little wild and wooly - after attempting to eat just 30 grams of red hot Thai chillies in 12 minutes, one woman fainted and was rushed to hospital and another contestant vomited on-the-spot. 12-time champ Prachuap Mungkratungklang had no probs, wolfing down 230 grams of the fiery peppers (about half-a-pound) for which he was awarded the grand prize - a lousy $25.
  Source: "Bangkok Post"

Internet Sewage (4 February)

Thousands of homes in Scotland could soon get high-speed internet access through - the sewer. THIS WEEK Scottish Water is launching a test of the system in the town of Rosyth. It's thought that leasing sewage pipes to channel fibre optics from broadband providers could drive down Internet costs. It also avoids the problem of digging up streets to lay wire and could bring Web access to remote parts of Scotland.
Source: BBC News

News From Around-The-World (4 February)

• A Brazilian soccer referee is red-faced after he attempted to pull a red card from his pocket to penalize a player during a match and ended up yanking out a pair of - lacy red panties. The ref was so embarrassed he ended the game with 20 minutes still to go. But that wasn't the end of it - his wife saw the whole schmozzle and has reportedly filed for divorce.
• The Gymbox fitness centre in London UK has launched a new fitness program called - 'The Shag Workout' - that it guarantees will increase the frequency, intensity and quality of orgasms. Apparently it's working. The gym claims 25% of female participants in the test classes have experienced the elusive and much sought after multiple orgasm for the first time.
• A Swedish chef has lost his job because his cooking was - too good. Huh? The poor slob worked for the ABE engineering company, which says it will not renew his contract because he attracts too many people to the company cafeteria and there's simply not enough room.

Buzzwords (4 February)

New terms leaking into the lingo -

• 'Wardrobe Malfunction' - A term that could not be found in the 3.3 billion Web pages searched by Google until Justin Timberlake used it to explain Janet Jackson's Super Bowl unveiling.
• 'Cozies' - A new genre of mystery books in which oddball characters abound but are seldom frightening, no one swears, and violence only happens off-the-page. And oh, the amateur sleuth always solves the murder.
• 'Timeboxing' - A new on-the-job time management tool that encourages you to do the best possible job in a fixed amount of time, rather than the best possible job no matter how long it takes.

The Upgrade Is Coming Next Year (3 February)

Computer techie Jon Blake Cusack has managed to talk his wife Jamie into naming their newborn son 'Jon Blake Cusack 2.0'. Version 2.0 was born LAST WEEK at the Community Hospital in Holland, Michigan and the hi-tech Cusacks promptly sent out - an electronic birth announcement. (The kid came with a warning label: 'Will Not Function in Conjunction With Microsoft'.)
Source: "Holland Sentinel"

Now They Glow In The Dark (2 February)

If laser removal seems a tad intimidating, there's another way to get rid of tats. The 'Tattoo Removal Infrared Coagulator' uses infrared light to dissolve the ink. The system was originally developed to remove - haemorrhoids.
Source: "GQ" magazine.

Mickey Mouse Town (2 February)

Ever been to Celebration, Florida? It's the perfect little town near Disney World created from scratch by the Walt Disney Co as a planning experiment in 'new urbanism'. The community is so idyllic, it resembles a movie set. Everything from the post office to the local Bijou theatre is precisely placed for utility and appearance, and so squeaky clean there's not a scratch. The new owner, NY-based Lexin Capital, has promised residents it will maintain the town's fake facade - that includes trucking in coloured leaves to spread around each autumn and spraying fake snow from light standards each holiday season.
Source: "The Independent"

Living Latin (2 February)

Each week a committee meets in Rome, Italy to update Latin, the ancient language of the Romans that's now considered 'dead'. Some of their recent additions ...

• Universalis Destructionis Armamenta (Weapons of Mass Destruction)
• Sonorarum Visualiumque Taeniarum Cistellula (Videotape Cassette)
• Vesticula Balnearis Bikiniana (Bikini)
• Pastillum Botello Fartum (Hot Dog)

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